2. Having a tremendous Man-Crush on Robert Downey Jr.
Johnny: "Yeah, his Downey Syndrome has been acting up pretty bad lately."
Symptoms include: a tendency to inadvertently blurt, "Go Bears!" or "Go Ducks!" (depending on whether they attended, Warren High School or Downey High School) whenever the word Downey is used, regardless of the context ("Did you want to go see the new Robert Downey, Jr. movie?" "Go Bears!" "No, Iron Man."); an inability to control the impulse to compare all foods to that served at El Taco; an inexplicable need to mention that Karen Carpenter was also from Downey (followed by deep shame at their lack of control and anxiety that people will assume they like The Carpenters) and feelings of superiority over those who reside in Bell Gardens, Pico Rivera, Paramount and Lynwood based on the misperception that Downey is somehow less ghetto.
Jack: Hell no! Do I look like I'm from Paramount? I'm from Downey!
Bob: What? Like somehow being from Downey is better than . . .
Lori: Shhhhhhhh . . . he can't help it. He has Downey Syndrome.
Bob: Oh. Sorry big guy. Go Bears!
Jack: (clapping hands and laughing) Yay!