Cool Cat: So, you just want to be a dick.
Doucher: Yes, that's right I am a dick.
Cool Cat: Well, I am a dick myself, but I'm cool, so are you going to be cool or what?
Doucher: No, I'm not cool.
Cool Cat: Well, you are a doucher.
Douchers rarely come to the self- realisation that they are in fact douchers.
Common Doucher Symptoms:
1. Poor sentence structure/ Hard to understand
2. Uses vulgary language in public locations
3. Often contradicts themselves
4. Likes to harrass wildlife
5. Walks around late at night informing strangers that they are intoxicated
Civilian (To Friend): "Lets get away from these douchers!"
Douchers: "Check out these cat mats we stole"
Civilians: "What are you going to do with them?"
Douchers: "Throw' em in the lake"