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An obnoxious bastard who mooches off of family and friends and is a complete and total ass to everyone.

Will use flattery and any other means possible to get a girl;
and learn how to play parts of songs on the guitar to attract girls. Their interests change depending on the girl they date or hang out with. Music is a good example of such interest changes. They will often listen to pop or rap if the girl enjoys it. Girls seemed oddly attracted to this charade.

Often laugh at others misfortunes reguardless of its severity. Is often a cock blocker even if the tactics used will hinder their own chances of getting a girl. Must always be the center of attention even if it means doing something socially awkward.

Sometimes makes jokes in a loud voice to draw attention to themselves. Talks loudly and in a different tone to assert that he knows a lot about a specific topic.
Occasionally they will sing along to songs on the radio and look at others riding with them to make sure they are paying attention to the fact that they are singing.

They are often white males and are stereotyped for wearing 'popped collars' but this fashion is rarely seen. They most often wear a hat in an unconventional way (Such as: backwards, to one side, slightly to one side, or obnoxiously worn on one side of the head, appearing to be barely stable) Being a douche is not limited to just males.

In short a douche is a living contradiction!
Guy 1: "I don't understand how Joey has any friends, he's a total douche."

Guy 2: "I guess girls like that whole asshole attitude."
by JLTJ April 15, 2011
One who is douchey -- a self-promoting asshole who contributes nothing to the world. Tool. Loser
I feel like such a douche applying for jobs like that, but I gotta pay rent right?
by Kai from Palo Alto September 07, 2006
A) A person who is a complete ignorant dick who thinks that they cannot be wrong.

B)A person that talks too much shit and can't back it up.

C)Someone who is a unnecessary tough-guy all the time.
ex) Mike: Tom, stop talking so much shit all the time.
Tom: Whatever dude its how I roll.
Mike: Douche.

ex) John M.
by Mike Markey February 26, 2008
someone,who is simply a waste of air,often very stupid,always tells useless things,who nobody really wants to hear
Guy 1:Here comes the new student.

Guy 2:Yeah,he is such a douche in class.
by foursouls1 April 26, 2009
A person that has ZERO regard for anybody or anything going on around him/her. Selfishness is his/hers number one quality!!!
Mark don't be a douche all the time!!
by M. Milark March 02, 2007
a device used to scrub out a sordid, stinking, gungey pussy
jeniffer's sickeningly filthy minge made the boys gag. so jason did the decent thing; he bought her a multipack of douches for christmas. "oh great!" she exclaimed. "now my vagina won't smell of rotting seafood!" she went into the toilet and got busy.
by dombo June 17, 2004
A person who thinks they are cool, but is actually completely not cool; tool.
That kid Alex Bestes is a total douche.
by Seannnn69 February 21, 2009