To truly describe a douche would be relatively impossible. But here are some of the tell-tale signs that let you know if you, or someone you know maybe be suffering from being a douche:

-Wears american eagle/lacoste shirts with collar permanently popped

-Walks with a little too much of a gangster bounce in his step(note that this rule does not apply if douche in question is black. being dark brown doesn't keep you exempt from this rule)

-Talks like they have an expanse of knowledge of the world when it is in fact the opposite

-Talks obnoxiously and douche-tastically loud so that others have no option but to overhear they're ridiculously trivial conversations

-Pretending to be black, under any circumstances, constitutes automatic doucheness

-Punch their friends on the shoulder soft enough not to hurt, but hard enough to think they actually have some dominance in their circle of friends

-Wear the christian cross on a necklace when their not religious because they want to be like one of those religious badasses in the action movies(e.g. the sniper in Saving Private Ryan. only but he was actually religious)

-Thinking their the fucking bees knees when in reality they're just a DOUCHE!!!
*brown man walks in with popped collar and overly large bounce in his step*

Observer 1: Check out the height on that collar. A true display of douchebaggery

Observer 2: And the bounce puts the icing on his douchebag cake.

Observer 3: I bet he thinks he's the fucking bees knees...
by Saucy n00b September 26, 2008
10 Words related to douche
a word to describe an individual who has shown themself to be very brainless in one way or another, thus comparing them to the cleansing product for vaginas.
you're such a douche... i wish i knew your existence was this pathetic when i started hanging out with u.
by seraphina October 05, 2003
1. George W. Bush, president of the United States.
2. Product used to sanitize an unpleasant, dirty vagina.
See also douchebag]. Definition 1 also applies to douchebag].
George Bush is such a douche, man.
by YOREMA October 27, 2004
Literal - A liquid concoction used for sanitizing and cleaning the female nether regions.

Actual - (Adj) A person who is a waste of oxygen; an idiot. Also used to describe a male / female (N) that won't let you run your game. To act in a ridiculous manner; embarassing (V)
That beaatch is a "douche", yo. Tell her to step or catch five quick ones!

My boy was "douchin'" out hard last night! The had to carry his ass out the J-Kwon show.

That kid is real "douchey". Keep him out the crib.

His name is Rich, but we all call him "The Douche".
by cfee2xd May 26, 2004
Product mistakenly used under the unfortunate impression that it will improve the environmental condition of the female nether-regions. In fact, the vagina is a self-cleaning organ and use of this product may hinder the "good bacteria" naturally present whose job it is to maintain a state of cleanliness. Should the vagina show signs of infection which would potentially lead to the mistaken impression that douching would be a good idea (unpleasant smell, etc.), one should seek professional medical treatment because they probably have some sort of an infection which can be cleared up properly with medication.
The use of douche, an unfortunately common practice, leads all too frequently to a disruption in the normal self-cleansing vaginal environment, resulting in repeated and worsening symptoms.
The acknowledgement of an accusation, or a point made by someone you consider to be a douche bag.
Accented E: pronounced dew/shay

Teacher: "It's no wonder that we don't communicate, when your grammar is incomprehensible."

Student: "Douché."
by nom de plumb June 16, 2009
Pronounced "doosh"

*Vaginal cleaning item.
*An offense-purpose word toward a person.
"You're such a douche!"
by Dave April 16, 2004
An obnoxious bastard who mooches off of family and friends and is a complete and total ass to everyone.

Will use flattery and any other means possible to get a girl;
and learn how to play parts of songs on the guitar to attract girls. Their interests change depending on the girl they date or hang out with. Music is a good example of such interest changes. They will often listen to pop or rap if the girl enjoys it. Girls seemed oddly attracted to this charade.

Often laugh at others misfortunes reguardless of its severity. Is often a cock blocker even if the tactics used will hinder their own chances of getting a girl. Must always be the center of attention even if it means doing something socially awkward.

Sometimes makes jokes in a loud voice to draw attention to themselves. Talks loudly and in a different tone to assert that he knows a lot about a specific topic.
Occasionally they will sing along to songs on the radio and look at others riding with them to make sure they are paying attention to the fact that they are singing.

They are often white males and are stereotyped for wearing 'popped collars' but this fashion is rarely seen. They most often wear a hat in an unconventional way (Such as: backwards, to one side, slightly to one side, or obnoxiously worn on one side of the head, appearing to be barely stable) Being a douche is not limited to just males.

In short a douche is a living contradiction!
Guy 1: "I don't understand how Joey has any friends, he's a total douche."

Guy 2: "I guess girls like that whole asshole attitude."
by JLTJ April 15, 2011

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