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1.
a "satchel" is a really big bag... of "douche". So someone who is a really big douche bag, would be a "douche satchel"

an expletive, used in instances of anger/frustration
That guy almost hit me with is car, DOUCHE SATCHEL!
by tl77 November 22, 2010
 
2.
A douche mop who continues to be a low level pain in the ass.
kitters53: lol bad call
NoahRC: I liked my odds but I know what you mean
kitters53: because you don't know how to play
NoahRC: you are a complete douche satchel
by NoahRC February 29, 2008