Doctors are People that have a dark streak and a psychotic dark side that like to get paid very well for stabbing people with needles, cutting people open this knifes, bringing bad news and all that dark devil worshiping. the red cross Sells blood to doctors, 'cause all doctors are vampires, obviously. The few are Zombies and eat the dead patients brains. How can I prove this? Whenever something bad happens, like a fire, or a car crash, Guess who's there? The paramedics, which are the Devil doctors servants. These "mobile" devil worshippers are even worse then doctors, they can find you anywhere. They have trucks, buses, Helicopters and other devil transportation. So we are never safe from these Doctors. So what shall we do? Take that white doctors coat and turn it into a straitjacket.
Doctor:: Ma'ma your sons dead
Woman:: NO!
Doctors:: Ma'ma please sit down. Ma'ma! SUCURITY!
by Hawkington =]] February 02, 2008

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In most parts of the world even without a well established public healthcare system such as India, a doctor is someone who attempts to treat illnesses in people, fix injuries, and give valuable advice. They seem gloomy, and deppressive because they don't want to get your hopes up only to have you reinjured again(and they don't want to get sued for giving bad advice).

In North America however they are exactly what most people associate lawyers with; shameless salesmen who just want to rip someone off for money.

This is very capitalist, and one can hardly blame the doctor if every doctor in the country is doing it, but really they are not even helping themselves like this.

Fun facts: Inability to pay medical bills are the cause of 80% of bankruptcies in America.

GP visits in America usually cost upwards of $250, while in places like Australia which has roughly similar $ value, and the UK which has a much higher $ value, GP visits only cost $75 tops, usually including medicine costs.
"I went in for a stomach ache and a flu, they told me to speak to the available surgeon, he wanted to give me a colonoscopy, which was not only completely unecessary, but would have cost me nearly $2000.

I told him I would have to check with my insurance company, and left."

You see Doctors in America are worse than lawyers these days.
by CocoabutterNapalm April 29, 2011

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Drug Dealer.
As in The Eagles song Life in the Fast Lane. "He said call the doctor, I think I'm gonna crash. The doctor said he's coming, but you gotta pay in cash."
by P-Ron March 09, 2010

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Either a person who heals people with their magical smarts or a miserable kid with that last name who, believe it or not, KNOWS THAT IF HE BECAME A DOCTOR HE WOULD BE DR. DOCTOR. Those of the latter groups would like to tell you to STOP SINGING DOCTOR DOCTOR. They really don't like that and you really aren't being original.
John : DUDE, wouldn't it be so sweet if Josh Doctor became a doctor?
Then he would be Dr. Doctor
*bursts into song*
Humphrey : C'mon man, could you imagine how often he gets that?
by ******Doctor February 06, 2010

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A person, sometimes unfortunately either a narcissist or someone who really needs to see a doctor themselves but lacks the executive functioning to work out that they have a problem which is not in the best interests of their patient.

In all cases, if you are going to approach a doctor or any professional with Internet or external information, you had better be sure it's worthy or entertainable

They are typically human in design, about 1.60- 2m in height, usually with 2 legs and the ability to raise or lower your blood pressure through their sheer confidence and aura of rationality.

In a percentages of cases, a doctor is a person who uses their brain and their amazing knowledge banks to treat a person successfully without trying to keep them hanging on like a gravy train drip. These people will try and study your history instead of turning their virtual roulette wheel loaded with 36 drugs.

These people should have the title Dr. DemiGod + <earth name>
"Doctor I don't think you are listening to me"

DOCTOR: "And youuuuuu are? Oh, take some pills and come back on your next pay day."
.
by the apathetic one December 11, 2009

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licensed drug dealer
Why get in trouble with cops and criminals when you can get your fix legally from a doctor?
by wazzlewz1 March 11, 2010

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Sybil and I were playing doctor last night.
by Doctor Rooth June 07, 2004

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