Distraction Cake 

Something pleasant which draws attention from a situation which could be awkward or embarrassing for those involved. Distraction cake originated in British teen dramedy "Skins" where Emily Fitch produced a delicious chocolate cake, seemingly from thin air, in order to remove attention from Naomi Campbell who was being heckled about her sexuality - presumably as an act to show her undying love.

Cook: I know the cure
Naomi: The cure for what?
Cook: It's my cock
Naomi: What the hell are you talking about?
*Awkward glances and laughter*
Emily: Hey look what I made! (Produces delicious distraction cake)

Distraction Cake by TheWroteAndTheWrit February 20, 2009

Vagina Distortion Field 

Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.

Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."

Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."

Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."

Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"

<cue Kirk fight music>

Vagina Distortion Field by Bachelor boB January 17, 2012

Weapon of Mass Distraction (WMD) 

Celebrities that have been enlisted by the U.S Government to keep the public eye off of what is really going on...

Paris Hilton's crotch... Britney Spears cooch... Anna Nicole Smith America's Princess Di... all government operatives...a collective Weapon of Mass Distraction (WMD) if you will...

Weapon of Mass Distraction (WMD) by Jared L. Ohlinger August 12, 2008

distortionist 

A less biting, somewhat elegant and mystical sounding term used to describe a practiced liar.

At one time, before his traitorous cognitive decline, the Hitman in Chief was a most prolific and talented distortionist.

distortionist by Dr Bunnygirl September 27, 2019

discretion is the better part of valor 

A phrase meaning to not let courage outweigh good judgment; is the potential outcome worth the risk?

Kid (10 years old): I really wanted to punch that boy for what he said dad, but I thought his parents would probably sue us, so I didn’t.
Dad: Wise decision, son. Discretion is the better part of valor. I’m proud of you. What’d the kid say that made you so mad?
Kid: He said mom was a whore.
Dad: What?!... Why didn’t you beat the shit outta that kid!!

discretion is the better part of valor by |SaltyJack| January 12, 2019

Perspectorial distortion 

When a girl looks good from a distance but as the girl gets closer you realize that your previous notion was false. (Also know as P.D.)

When you see that girl from a distance and is like damn shes hot, but when she gets close you notice 5 warts on her face and an abnormally lopsided set of breast. You say "damn that was some major P.D.(Perspectorial distortion )".

Perspectorial distortion by Goldenshot1000 November 8, 2015

distraction dance 

Henry Stickmin dancing with the song Dance Mr. Funnybones playing in the backround.

Aw man, i got distracted by the distraction dance yesterday.

distraction dance by HenryStickmin August 22, 2020