Possibly the worst thing ever to happen to humanity. The whole channel is devoted to preppy, chipper teens who compel you to rake out your hair and/or throw yourself over a cliff. The majority of these young 'stars' end up as drug addicts e.g. Lindsay Lohan. She started off as a super cute bubblegum blowing tween - look where she is now.
The programs themselves are equally, if not more, annoying. They may be set in different places, but the plot and characters are all the same. They basically consist of a teenage girl, who is supposed to go to a 'normal' high school (it's so normal that all the teens in this school are perfect little angles who respect one another and never swear) who do nothing but hang around their lockers all day shouting "Totally Awesome!" in screeching voices, and at the end they learn a lesson about how important friends are. This is not only patronizing but builds up false hope for eleven-year-old girls, who believe that when they go to high school it will all be a song and dance and the greatest trouble they will have is forgetting homework. These girls will become pregnant because they have not been forewarned.
Girl 1: "Omigod, I'm pregnant!"
Girl 2: "I told you that it wasn't like the disney channel in real life. You expected it to be like a sunny musical number, but because nobody told you high school isn't like that, you don't know any better."
by PimpMyYak May 10, 2009
tv shows that promote kids to live with hidden agendas. IE:

That's So Raven: Psychic - doesn't tell anyone

Phil of the Future: From the future - doesn't tell anyone

Hannah Montana: Rockstar - doesn't tell anyone

Wizards of Waverly Place - Wizards - don't tell anyone

Jonas Brothers (new show: gay) - rumored to be spies - don't tell anyone, and say they're a rockband instead

American Dragon - yeah, whatever, same deal as all the others

Kim Possible - blahblahblah

I rest my case. Even Stevens for life, though.
Shirley: My daughter turns into a street walker at night.
Cindy: It's that fuckin' Disney Channel bullshit.
by buhhhh December 11, 2008
The only thing on TV in Hell, mostly reruns with no good humor and it brainwashes little kids so that they have the same crappy sense of humor as the show. They use laughmachines to make kids think something is funny thus developing the bad sense of humor. Also is very effective at killing braincells.

A long time ago it played good shows (chip n' dale rescue rangers, Tale spin, duck tales, and old Disney cartoons) but apparently Satan possed whoever runs Disney Channel and decided to attempt to ruin TV and music.

All stars that are on this channel think they can sing for some reason, such as Hilary Duff, the fat black kid from Cory in the house, Christy Carlson ramaro, Salena Gomez, Hannah Montana, and last and worst the Jonas Brothers

Furthermore, one of the most awful things to be ever called a movie, High School Musical is the sinful spawn of this channel. Had the disastrous result of launching Zac effron and Vanessa Hudgens (add both to list of crappy singers) to fame

This Channel tries to hide it but it has launched the careers of basic whores such as Britney Spears and the porn star known as Vanessa Hudgens (she sent naked pictures of herself to Drake Bell and Disney slapped her on the wrist)

The only thing kids from 7-14 (esp girls) watch and would probably do anything the channel tells them to do
Satan: Disney Channel is working marveoulously in destroying music and the sense of humor, soon the world population of young children will be mine!

Smart person: Do not watch Disney channel it will fuck you up if you are to young to see how terrible and evil it is

Little Kid: I love Disney Channel!! HA HA HA HA, YEAH ME !!!!! that is so FUNNY!

Person: What is that crap on the radio
Person 2: its those damn disney channel stars that think they can sing
by theblaackKnight July 26, 2009
The crappiest channel out there. Was supposed to be about classic Disney cartoons but instead started making all these crappy shows about teenagers with some retarded plot and slapping the Disney label on them so parents will let their kids watch.

And of course the only kids that watch that shit are eleven-year-old girls who try to act like they're sixteen. Of course all the characters on every single one of their shows is a teenager, just so 11-year-olds everywhere can watch and say, "I watch Lizzie McGuire and Hannah Montana and That's So Raven on the Disney Channel, so that makes me grown-up!" Every show on that channel is geared towards eleven-and-under-year-old kids but try to make it look like they're geared towards older kids.

Let me also say that the actors and actresses CANNOT ACT, yet they are possibly the biggest stars in Hollywood right now. Why, you might ask? Because of the gullible eleven-year-old girls who tune in every night to watch because it makes them feel older.
"On an all-new Hannah Montana, Miley's dad gives her a brand-new credit card! But OF COURSE she goes overboard shopping! What's a tween to do?!"

"Dude, if I have to hear my little sister sing that Hannah Montana shit one more time, I swear I'm gonna BLOW MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT!!!"

"Disney Channel Writer #1: "You know, I feel like even though we've already got Lizzie McGuire, Phil of the Future, the Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Kim Possible, and That's So Raven, we STILL don't have enough teen shows!!"

Disney Channel Writer #2: "I KNOW! Let's make a TV show about a tween (excuse me, teen) who is a regular girl during the day but--bear with me on this--is a POP STAR AT NIGHT!!!!!!!"

Disney Channel Writer #1: "OH MY GOD! I'm really glad you remembered our rule--EVERY central character on EVERY Disney Channel show HAS to be a teenage girl! I'm so proud of you for remembering! This is such a great idea!"
by disneychannelhater;disneyluver August 15, 2009
A very effective method of brainwashing future generations of kids worldwide.
A channel that plays shows and movies that are highly addictive to children and impressionable people. Young children grow up watching it and their parents allow them to, because disney for them is all about the movies they grew up with, and the ideology of family oriented products Disney is associated with, or, theyr just absent parents that dont really give a fuck what theyr kids are watching as long as they dont have to do any or minimal parenting, like my lazy ass mom...
I have young siblings who are glued to the Disney channel 24/7, and I have observed some of the shows with them. I noticed a lot of themes thrown in lyrics, quotes, situations and things of that nature while watching like:
- it's ok to make mistakes( this one is thrown in A LOT, especially in Hannah Montana).
- Talking trash back to your parents is OK (again, hannah montana).
- Rules are ok to break (My Sis & bro love hannah montana, so I mainly see these themes in this show).
- The characters DO have double secret lives, promoting it to the kids.
- All the boys are really gay and feminine(makes ur kids gay).
- All the girls hook up with dudes, you know where kissing leads to in real life( teen pregnancy hello!)

It basically turns your daughter into a slut and ur son into a homo, all the while disney makes money off of you, and ruining the quality of your kids life.

If you don't believe its brainwashing, then give a kid who watches it $20 bucks and walk by them somewhere they sell Disney(hannah montana, jonas, etc.) merchandise and see if they buy it or not. And if they show any symptoms of the themes mentioned above.
the Disney channel made my sister a mindless airhead and my brother a boy lovin' homo...FML!
by Mr.Cornster September 12, 2009
A channel with repetitive and corny shows with bad acting that is strangely addicting to those who grew up watching it.
Benoit knows Disney Channel is lame and stupid, but cannot help watching it when nothing else is on tv.
by katerinaosc March 28, 2009
Disney Channel is a name for the worst possible excuse for a channel. This so called "channel" displays fake untalented actors that are older than the target audience but act just as immature. Many shows "the suite life" are no more than puns. Disney Channel features many musicians that can't sing and somehow gained attention from idiots watching the child-propaganda channel. Back in the past, the channel used to be better with actual cartoons and clever shows, but has gone downhill not unlike Nick and Cartoon Network, but unlike those two, this has been proven to be unwatchable and unfunny. It is surprising how a company that has made classics such as Toy Story is reduced to this garbage. Even worse is the fact that Disney owns Marvel. Hopefully they won't ruin that.
A intelligent person is watching a good TV show on a network (ex. Discovery, mythbusters) and his/her little sister or cousin shows up and their parent tells them to let her watch the TV. The sister/cousin starts switching through the channels and ends up on Disney Channel. Then the intelligent person does the right thing by throwing an axe at the TV screen and smashing the cable box to pieces.
by Jag140 July 19, 2011
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