A fake penis that you stick up your ass/vagina.
"I can fit five dildos in my ass at one time!", explained Chris with utter joy.
by Chris Farina August 18, 2003
fake penis, a sex toy
She didn't have a boyfriend so she just pleasured herself with her dildo
by Anonymous June 16, 2002
Any rod thingy that simulates a cock that a woman or man can stick in her or his mouth, pussy, or anus. Some vibrate, while others don't. Dildos are made of different materials.
Women and men, listen.

After you stick your dildo in your ass, do not suck on it or put it in your pussy. There is shit or at least fecal residue in your ass (remember, shit comes out of your asshole), and you don't want to eat shit. Otherwise, you might as well pick up your poop from the toilet bowl and take a bite. And forget about wiping your ass because that's basically what you are doing when you rub that ass-plugged dildo all over your pussy, your mouth, and, god forbid, my mouth and ass.

Separate dildos for ass and mouth.
by sukebe November 18, 2006
1) A fake, rubber penis used by women to mastribate.
2) A slang term for penis.
3) A stupid person.
1) She used a dildo during mastribation.
2) His dildo is seven inches long.
3) Krysti is such a dildo!
Mans worst enemy
shes got a dildo... Doesn't say much for me
by Big Fino April 24, 2003
Cartman's Cat in South Park
Cartman: Mom, Kitty's being a dildo!!!
Carman's Mom: Then I know a certain little kitty kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight.
by Fonzeh July 27, 2004
A penis shaped sex toy inserted into a woman's vagina for the purpose of masturbating. Originally derived from the common practice of women using large cucumbers to pleasure themselves. As in "dill" pickle or cucumber. "Doe" as in ananymous or a "john doe". Hence, dildo.

Also can mean a very dorky, nerdy, gay or annoying person.
She used her dildo every night while her husband John was out of town.

Everyone thought of Paul as a total dildo after he began reporting students who were smoking on campus.
by sirvancealott October 15, 2005

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