The supreme icon of male obsolescence in today's society. Once a woman gets a taste of the right one, she never puts up with male bullshit again. Hard when we want it, long as we like it, goes as long as we do, provides instant fantasy support so we can imagine ourselves being fucked HARD AND LONG by hot-and-sexy anybody we want to be by instead of that dumb twat swaggering around thinking he's the center of our life and about to get dumped, no wet spot, no HIV, no other woman, no other man, no backtalk, no bullshit, and when you're done with it you can dump it in a drawer and it's out of your face - no fucking phone calls, last minute date requests or sassing. To be gotten at the sex toy shop near you, and the good ones are about $100-150. Small price to pay for peace of mind, yo. GIRL, GET THAT DILDO TODAY AND WATCH YOUR SON OF A BITCH SOON TO BE EX BOYFRIEND START TO SWEAT WITH REAL FEAR.

They pretend to like it, but they don't really. Just think, a thick slab of latex gets your pussy more than they ever will. I bought mine and am NEVER looking back. And right here let's kill the myth we ladies choose dildos because "no one else would fuck us". WTF? You're on crack, you male bitches. I turn you down all the time. WE USE DILDOS BECAUSE THEY'RE BETTER THAN YOU AND BRING LESS BULLSHIT. GOSPEL TRUTH. GET SCHOOLED.
"What the fuck do I need YOU for? I've got A DILDO that makes you look like the soft bitch you are. Get the fuck out of my house, you saggy balled twat. Technology has made your ass REDUNDANT."
by HSFATTACK September 18, 2006
An individual who does not have the competence to live in the real world; an annoyance; a tool
Jon is being a dildo today. God he can be a real bitch sometimes.
by Greek November 01, 2005
Another name for an electric zapper used to torture pledges during fraternity initiations.
"The Phi Eta Mu uses dildoes on their pledges."
by loujx November 13, 2007
A tool that comes in various, shapes sizes, flavors, and attachable parts (sold seperately)used for the pleasure of female putangs. The dildo is to be used just as a penis would. It's a fun process to watch but damn that girl must be a pathetic whore because she ain gettin' the real thing...she using plastic. Get a life, Barbie!
Ooo, please twirl that dildo in me deeper.
by mmm delicious May 10, 2005
Phallic object, often made into forms of male penises or of similar type. Often, dildos do not have to be manufactured: cucumbers and police sticks can be converted and turned to dildos at users expense.
I use my finger dildo on my girl to maker her have multiple orgasmss. Yup.
by UCidiot April 20, 2003
The word dildo has many meanings.

As a noun, it is a weapon dating back from the Muff Diving Age, used by our lesbian ancestors to ward off attacking men. When wielded it would cause men to look confused, scratch their crotches and wonder how women could have fun without the real thing.

As a verb, it means ‘to look at someone saliciously, with intent to get into their pants, and buy a U-Haul/and or/apartment together the next week’.

As an adjective, it can be used to describe certain women who are tall, stand very straight, and occasionally, vibrate. As you might imagine, these types of women are very popular with young lesbians.
Lesbian: Did you see Lisa? She was totally dildoing me with her eyes earlier.

Lesbian 2, from England: Phwwoaaar, did you see the attachments on that one? She is so dildo!
by recallthelessons October 15, 2010
Dad I'd Like to DO; the opposite of a MILF
Your father is so fine. I mean, c'mon. He is a total DILDO.
by nikstuhh August 01, 2010
May be used in place of a forgotten word.
Hey Steve! Hand me that... dildo!
I forgot that... dildo.
by Succubus Prime March 16, 2008

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