The supreme icon of male obsolescence in today's society. Once a woman gets a taste of the right one, she never puts up with male bullshit again. Hard when we want it, long as we like it, goes as long as we do, provides instant fantasy support so we can imagine ourselves being fucked HARD AND LONG by hot-and-sexy anybody we want to be by instead of that dumb twat swaggering around thinking he's the center of our life and about to get dumped, no wet spot, no HIV, no other woman, no other man, no backtalk, no bullshit, and when you're done with it you can dump it in a drawer and it's out of your face - no fucking phone calls, last minute date requests or sassing. To be gotten at the sex toy shop near you, and the good ones are about $100-150. Small price to pay for peace of mind, yo. GIRL, GET THAT DILDO TODAY AND WATCH YOUR SON OF A BITCH SOON TO BE EX BOYFRIEND START TO SWEAT WITH REAL FEAR.

They pretend to like it, but they don't really. Just think, a thick slab of latex gets your pussy more than they ever will. I bought mine and am NEVER looking back. And right here let's kill the myth we ladies choose dildos because "no one else would fuck us". WTF? You're on crack, you male bitches. I turn you down all the time. WE USE DILDOS BECAUSE THEY'RE BETTER THAN YOU AND BRING LESS BULLSHIT. GOSPEL TRUTH. GET SCHOOLED.
"What the fuck do I need YOU for? I've got A DILDO that makes you look like the soft bitch you are. Get the fuck out of my house, you saggy balled twat. Technology has made your ass REDUNDANT."
by HSFATTACK September 18, 2006
a plastic shlong
since my mom is too fat to get laid, she uses a dildo to 'excite' herself which is kept under the bed
by dr. chazzy chaz February 28, 2004
The rubber dick your girlfriend has resorted to using cuz that thing you call a dick can't even reach.
The feel of rubber dildos in my pussy is almost orgasmic!
by Dildos4FreeLolz August 25, 2008
to invite yourself into a private place or conversation
He's always dildo-ing into my room without knocking. It's annoying.

Is it cool if I dildo into your conversation? I don't want to be the guy that just stands around by himself at a party.

I didn't know anybody there... I just dildo-ed in and started talking to people.
by boycottthecaf April 27, 2010
An obnoxious, fucked up, moronic, munterish, tramp that has no originality and prides his/her self on copying others words and looks and failing miserably. Also has a shit load of fake designer stuff that he/she insists is real.
"dude, that bex, she copied my mates hair colour"
" dude, she is such a dildo"

"mate, look at him!"
"yeah he totally copied mike, expect mike's is real"
"omg man! he totally said it was real to me!"
"duh, hes a dildo."
by FxckedUpMentalWhore May 01, 2009
a fake penis, usually bigger than the real thing. Althought it is supposed to be a replica of a penis, anyway it vibes as no cock has ever done. It doesn't cum, doesn't enjoy being sucked and it's the only dick that can penetrate a female ass with no need of begging. Ann Summers' shop assistants have never tried a dildo.
(real dialogue held in London)
me: Hello, I'd like to buy a dildo for my g/f. Which one do you like best?
shop assistant: We sell a lot of these (she shows it to me)
me: well, is this the one you prefer?
she: no (she laughs)
me: so, which one do you use?
she: I don't use any
me: never tried any?
she: no
me: goodbye (and didn't buy any of them)
by paddy garcia January 25, 2008
An extremely cute name for a teddy bear, not to be mistaken for the first definition.
Jasper: awww that's a cute Teddy bear! What's its name?
Joy: Dildo
Jasper: O_O
....
Jasper: excuse me?
by Oompa-Loompa & Licious-Vicious April 24, 2011
People that submit entries to Urban Dictionary for the sole purpose of telling their friends that they contributed to internet culture, effectively making themselves dildoes. Literally.
1) Ha. Only dildoes text LOL with a straight face.

2) How many dildoes have to add an 'I' to the front of a word and define it in an Apple-like manner?

All of them.
by roofus j. January 26, 2011

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