|29.||Holster your dick|
To refrain from flirting with or making sexual advances toward someone in order to maintain an atmosphere of propriety no matter how attractive or suggestive the object of your lust is (i.e., boss' daughter, receptionist/mistress of your top client, MILF of your best friend or girlfriend, etc.). Sexual self control.
On the way to a sales call:
Salesman: "Harry, wait till you see the jugs on the receptionist at Acme."
Sales Manager: "Now, hold on you hornball. If you blow another deal like last time - banging the buyer's wife ..."
Salesman: "...I didn't know she was married!"
Sales Manager: "I'm just saying, we can't afford another screwup, so just holster your dick."
having a severe blockage in your dick
in medical terminology infarction is a blockage. if an infarction happens in the heart, it leads to a heart attack.
Son: "Mom, can I go get laid tonight?"
Mom: "Are you fucking crazy, no you can't go get laid tonight! It's a school night."
Son: "You are such a dick infarction!"
If your boyfriend calls your friend "sugar tits" you may call your guy friend "tasty dick."
"That's like me calling him "Tasty Dick!""
a security dick is a guy that's sole purpose on earth is to provide security for his girl friend not knowing that he is being used for that purpose only
a dumb guy that is pussy whipped and is being used
any guy that goes to a 9-5 5 days a week and works like a dog to support a woman and or girl friend that is cheating on him behind his back .
laura was low on money so she went to the local bar to pick up a security dick to sponsor her cunt through life so she wont have to work .
2-a guy was picking on laura today so she ran to her guy friend/security dick for protection only the security dick would not have protected her if he knew the guy that was picking on her was actually her boy friend .
When a friend rubs his penis on another friends leg during an intense game of Rock Band.
Ant dick smeared Peter when he was playing Enter Sandman.
to press your dick on a girl during a hug
note: this may or may not be on purpose
i was hugging my friend last night when i noticed he was giving me a dick hug
|35.||Did it to save my dick|
An asshole thing you do in order to save your own ass. It's considered saving your dick when you screw someone over really bad just to getout of something yourself making it 10 times as worse as just saving your ass. Once someone has "done it to save my dick" they have caused a never ending cycle of people fucking up other people just to save themselves. The only way to stop this cycle is if someone manages to get to the person who started it all and either narc on them or beat the shit out of them. If someone screws you over and says they did it to save their dick, they are completed justified and you have to deal with it or fuck them up.
Friend #1: Dude, why did you tell your mom that I was the one who pissed on your couch?
Friend #2: Do you know what would happen if my mom found out I did it? I did it to save my dick.