International Dibs Protocol 

The International Dibs Protocol (IDP) main goal is to prevent conflict between friends and family due to near-equal claims to an object of value. Nearly every conflict in history has been because two people want one thing.

Using the IDP, when 2 people want the same thing, who ever calls “dibs” first get it. If one person is not finished pronouncing the “s” sound before another starts pronouncing the “d” sound, it is considered a tie.

If a tie occurs, everyone who wanted that item must count aloud from 1 to 10. Even if 2 people called dibs, if a third person counts to ten first, the third person wins, even though the third person didn’t call dibs in the first place.

1. If two people arrive at ten at the same time, that is, one person says the “t” sound before the first person is finished the “n” sound, it is considered a tie. Only the people who tied are eligible for the next tiebreaker. A person that finished a whole “ten” behind the other 2 will not advance.

2. If the 2 people who tied in the last round are of legal drinking age, whoever bought the last round of alcoholic beverages in a store or bar wins.

3. If a tie still occurs, whoever is taller wins. If there is not third person to judge, or if height is a difference of 1 cm or less, then the next tiebreaker shall be implemented.

4. Rock-Paper-Scissors will be played, best 2 out of 3 to prevent winning by dumb luck.

"One cookie left, MINE!"
"Dibs."
"What?! I said it first!"
"You have to say 'dibs'. It's called the international dibs protocol"
(Searches Google) "Darn." (Hands over cookie)

International Dibs Protocol by Guy__Fawks December 14, 2014

International Dibs Protocol 

PART 2

The IDP can only be used when multiple people have near-equal claim to something. One person can not call dibs on something another person clearly owns, and if he does, dibs has no effect. If the object in question was given from one person to another, a third person may not call dibs on said object. Even if it was not made explicitly clear that the object in question was meant for a specific person, the person who provided the object may still clarify and dibs will be nullified.

If one person has obviously greater claim to the object in question, dibs will have no effect. However, dibs shall be upheld if the claim is (1) not major and can't be proven or (2) very minor, even if proof is provided. If an agreement is reached that both people have equal claim to the object, the two people will start at step 2.

If an agreement can not be reached, the said object will be be split equally, destroyed, left behind, sold and the money split evenly, or given to a third person, depending on what the valued object is.

SHOTGUN AMENDMENT
The Shotgun Amendment is a specific form of dibs, namely, the shotgun seat of a vehicle. Slightly different rules apply to shotgun.

The owner of the vehicle gets final say in who rides shotgun.

Also, shotgun call only be called when some piece of the vehicle can be seen from where shotgun is called. Exhaust, icicles hanging off of the vehicle, and reflections do not count as a “piece of the vehicle.”

The International Dibs Protocol takes precedent over all other laws. Not really.

International Dibs Protocol by Guy__Fawks December 14, 2014

Interuniversal Dibs Protocol (IDP)

This is the protocol to end all conflict in the world today. Essentially, if anything has not been claimed ownership of or is contested, the rightful owner is the one who exclaims Dibs. This can pertain to anything that is but is not limited too: Consumable items, permanent items, roles, antiquities, land, and in rare cases people.

Now there are some amendments to this protocol that must be enforced:
1. You can only call dibs on a certain thing if it is within eyesight of the person calling dibs. No calling dibs on the passenger seat of a vehicle in the checkout, as it must be called upon entering the parking lot.

2. Dibs shall only be called when two or more parties have a claim to that item. This can be through verbal or non-verbal clues in the context of the social setting. If someone calls dibs when there is clearly no other person who wants to lay claim to it, it disembellishes the sanctity of the dibs protocol. Dibs is not a word to use in vain.

3. Just to go into further detail on the dibs protocol applying to people. This pertains to calling dibs on the athletic kids in kickball and other games in P.E class where the teacher cruelly picks the two physically acoustic kids as the team captains.
4. In the event that the item that is being called dibs is a public item (ex: classroom seat), dibs must be renewed daily. Either that or until one person has called consecutive dibs on that item for seven days straight. This gives that person full rights to that object

EX: 1
Conner (new kid in class): Hey imma sit here
Shaianne(a stuck up dweeb): But I sit there, you can't sit there
Conner: Dibs! According to the Interuniversal Dibs Protocol (IDP), this chair is mine now!
Shaianne: yaknow.....Fair enough
Shaianne takes a seat somewhere else, as Connor is now the rightful owner of the chair.

*Russia and Ukraine settle in the Crimea*
Ukraine: This is some pretty good land here
Russia: Yah I like it too
Ukraine: Dibs.
Russia: Well, I was gonna take it over but I can't now because you called dibs.
Ukraine: Yah I know, eat shit commie.
Russia: Yikes, why ya gotta be so rude.

*Ukraine is the rightful owner of the Crimea, and had this happened instead, there would be no conflict.*

Interuniversal Dibs Protocol (IDP) by ThatGuyConnor May 7, 2019