Faux Defecation 

When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.

(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation

Faux Defecation by gingyman January 9, 2010

anti-defecation league 

An organization dedicated to protecting non-terrorists who find themselves on government shit-lists.

Now that I have unfairly been added to a gubmint shit-list, the only place I can look for help from is the Anti-Defecation League.

anti-defecation league by LaughingAloud August 18, 2017

Deflection 

When politicians come under fire for missteps or failures, they often rely on the technique of trying to shift the focus onto others. In an attempt to duck responsibility, scrutiny, accountability, they often create "scapegoats" to shift blame onto. They try to lay their failures at the feet of others or make a way to justify them. They may try to shift the debate entirely onto a completely irrelevant and different subject. One example is to make a drastic decision that completely shifts focus from the previous subject of scrutiny onto this new drastic change or subject brought into light by the government. Seen commonly by politicians and on a less refined level , regular people supporting a political party or figure in arguments or debates, or as a psychological attempt to manipulate others in regular domestic situations. In politics the tactic is entirely strategic and is arguably one of the most devious and disreputable in the eyes of honest morality and accountability, but is quite common in politics around the world.

When Soviet leaders were questioned about human rights violations in the USSR, for example, they might've come back with, "Well, what about the Negroes that you Americans are lynching in the South?" - One example of a political deflection

Deflection by Old school bossman January 2, 2021

Defecation of character 

Defecation of character is what happens when someone shits on your name in a public forum.

You: "Oh, man! Brittany just called me a ho on Facebook because I said I liked her crush."

Your friend: "Wow, that's defecation of character."

Defecation of character by gingermom September 29, 2009

Defecting The Children 

used after one has had a skateboard, bicycle or rail smash into ones testicals, causing great amounts of pain, in some cases vomiting and even "broken balls disorder"

"Mark really Defected his children on that missed double peg"
"My brother defected the children after he tried a gardflip over a rail we spent 4 fucking hours in the hostipal"

Defecting The Children by Torrance Dodge September 4, 2005

one direction detection 

The coolest thing ever.

We've... Got... A... Plan!

Get ready for... ONE DIRECTION DETECTION.

one direction detection by OneD Fandom Fan April 27, 2016

Erection Detection

When you get a boner with short shorts and your dick comes peeking out the bottom and everyone around can see.

Aaron:"O shit I gotta boner with these little soccer shorts!"

Everyone around looks and can clearly see his penis.

Bystander:"Man, that guy is really struggling with erection detection..."

Erection Detection by the voice of the common cock January 6, 2011