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1.
An order so lame that when placed at a cafe or restaurant it leaves the server reliving memories of their lost virginity. An order of a decaf espresso is a drink so pointless that it is synonymous only with a hand job over the pants... those pants most likely being jeans.
"Dude, you ever had a decaf espresso?"
"Yeah once when I was like 13 but I wouldn't recommend it. My pants frayed and I totally chaffed."

or

"The movie theater was packed so all she could give me was a decaf espresso."
by rudy noodles August 29, 2011