If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.


There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.


Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.


There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.


Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.


The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.


Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.


Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.


Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. (New!)

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacifi...

One who hunts, kills and/or destroys a Twitard.

Now I'm sure most of you know what a Twitard is. But I'll refresh that mind of yours.

A Twitard is one who falls victim to being an obsessed fan of Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer. They tend to obsess over and/or take it beyond obsession when it comes to this sour, pathetic, shitty excuse for a novel(s). Their obsession is so intense, so captivating and suffocating, that their brain cells and mental capacities are equal to that of a squash. They will defend the book, even if it was getting negatively critiqued or not, abuse the luxury of caps lock, terrible spelling and grammar that will be highly similar with that of a three-year-olds', they are quicker to jump to conclusions than a spider is to their fleeing prey, fall helplessly in love with The Caveman(Edward), much like Bella did and even will pretend to live the life of the story, right down to forcing some poor lad to be their Edward. And, finally, say the tiniest bit of an insult about Twilight, they will go crazy, start foaming at the mouth, hit you with Twilight itself, scratch your eyes out, shout that you are evil just because you have insulted Twilight and throw holy water at you as if Twilight is the Bible. A Twitard may even jump on you, pin you down and, while sitting on top of your frantically struggling-to-get-free body, read Twilight. All. Four. Books.
They will try to cut you with their Twilight bookmark and possibly an apple, if one is nearby. Careful, so...

The word "pizdetz" (пиздец) is attributed to "Russian mat", a sort of Russian slang which is based on sexual content an is commonly banned from official use as well as considered inappropriate for use in conversation by general rules of conduct. The Administrative Code of Russian Federation even sets a fine for public use of „mat”, though this sanction is purely formal and its use is seldom. „Pizdetz” is originally derived from the word „pizda”, which is a „mat” term for vagina. „Pizdetz” may carry different meanings. Here are the most widespread:

1) Short description of a situation, usually negative. This particular use is probably the most widespread. A situation may be described as heavily negative by this sole word. For example, an answer „Pizdetz” to a question „Kak dela?” (How are you?) bears a meaning close to „Everything’s totally fucked up”.
2) A characteristic of an object. In this case the word also generally bears a negative meaning, though may occasionally be used in opposite, to describe something very good. For instance, „Pizdetz, a ne mashina!” („Pizdetz, not a car!”, something like „Hell of a car!”) generally means a total wreck, but may sometimes mean the opposite, a very fast or a very powerful car. The true meaning can only be defined by the intonation and overall context of the conversation.
3) An end to something or someone. „Yemu pizdetz” („Pizdetz to him”) means that the subject (a person or a subject – an item, a business, etc) is already or abo...

Like any other hustler, they determine the most effective courses of action to minimize expenditure and maximize
results. These particular hustlers know that studying does not produce good grades – efficient studying does. These students are able to do well, have a good time, and work to live, not the other way around.

Sometimes mistaken for high-achieving slackers, but there is a large difference between the two. The former generally does well because they are good at school, but, if they have to choose between working very hard and a good grade, they will choose to slack off. The academic hustler, however, for whom success is most important, always works as hard as is necessary, though strenuous work is rare, due to their academic efficiency and social and psychological prowess.

A good job, mate. S' challengin' work, out o' doors... guarantee you'll not go hungry, 'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.

You will actually have to study for Honors/Pre-AP/AP classes. You will most likely forget about your friends, family and love life, and will exist for the sole purpose of reaching a 4.5 GPA and studying for the impending SATs. You may experience unexplainable weight loss, paleness, and passing out randomly in class. The only free time you have will be spent crying and listening to sad music while reviewing notes for the 90th time to get a 78 on your AP chemistry test. Average sleep hours=2.5 per school night, 5=per week day.

High school kids stay awake by mixing energy drinks, coffee, cigarettes, and vitamin C supplements in a blender, then shutting their eyes and drinking it. They tend to drink about 5 a day.

Students are taught to "think for themselves" AKA conform to the people (usually idiots) around them . Most conform. Some don't and end up living poor because society rejects them. A few clever ones keep up their grades and bullshit through high school while at the same time harboring their individuality inside. These will probably survive/enjoy life and not end up

a. poor

b. dead

c. hating their stupid kids, spouse, job, and life.

Teachers don't give a fuck about anyone and usually spend their time playing computer games and getting pissy when you need to ask them a question. Gym teachers are fat, and whip you like dominatrixes to run the damn mile.

Good luck in high school...see you on the other side...