Custom UD mugs
with your fave def Now available
date one's hand isn't defined yet, but these are close:
1. masterbate
buy masterbate mugs, tshirts and magnets
Sex with one's hand...what you do if you don't have a girlfriend or she is away...no risk sex...what i do several times a day...beating ya meat...choking your chicken

I once knew of a (fishing) bait store called: Master Bait in connecticut
It's a good thing we don't live in Japan
Because if we masterbate we'd loose our left hand
So we masterbate now, and we masterbate later
And if we meet a hot girl we might try to date her
by scratch dj Jun 17, 2004 share this
2. fruit smugglers
buy fruit smugglers mugs, tshirts and magnets
To fruit smuggle: to wrangle the trouser trouts by hand.
Fruit Smugglers use both hands and both feet! 1. No green card Mr. Gonzalez?!?... Here let me clean that sweaty brown cock of your's with my tongue! 2. Peeling back the turtleneck. 3. Hunting down a Fruit of the Loom shroom. 4. To peel one's banana for the sole purpose of extracting one's savory sea monkey sauce. 5. Milking his baby batter protein healthy goodness. 6. Pumping, sucking and slurping for hot man gravy. 7. Polishing someone's pungent poopstick pogo pole. 8. Giving CPR to the Supersoaker Sperm Drencher2000. 9. Pacifying the throat with one's turd churner. 10. Nibbling the farm worker's foreskin on lunch break in the greenhouse. 11. Going Vegan and having a severe protein attack, and as a result pulling down someone's boxer shorts for a midnight snack. 12. Scrubbing your throat hard with a 8'3" basketball player's dripping wet hot & sweaty & smelly chocolate log. 13. Tasting your friend's girlfriend's butthole from the night before and saying to yourself "oh yes! please! More! Mmmmm". 14. Getting your chin tickled with cum-filled nutsack. 15. Laughing so hard you shoot cum out your nose, from what you just did a few mintutes ago in a roadside restroom. 16. Having a dinner date point out that you forgot you wipe the toothpaste from your lip (oops! I did it again! Roadside Restrooms! on the way to the restaraunt!) etc. etc. etc. etc. etc....
more...
fruit fiddlers fruit gummers fruit thumbers fruit twirlers fruit hurlers fruit fondlers fruit fudgers fruit huddlers fruit muddlers fruit cuddlers fruit tumblers fruit curlers fruit loopers fruit droopers fruit bloopers fruit poopers fruit scoopers fruit searchers fruit smirkers fruit squinchers fruit squirters fruit squandlers fruit pondlers fruit pawners fruit ripplers fruit squatters fruit hatters fruit padders fruit pickers fruit nickers fruit uglies remember those from the 80's oh yeah with a side order of man flute juices mmmm yes
by Spermies Makies Mouthies Happies! Like Yah...! OMG! Sep 6, 2006 share this
3. The "Are You Cold?" Kiss
buy the "are you cold?" kiss mugs, tshirts and magnets
Possibly one of the greatest kiss ideas ever contrived. If one's boyfriend/girlfriend gets cold easily, and you happen to notice this while holding their hand during a romantic excursion, proceed to inquire whether they are cold. If the answer is yes, proceed to kissing them on the line of the jaw near their ear. Rinse and repeat as you kiss them on the cheek , jaw, and neck, all the while progressively getting closer to their lips. Kiss them with as much skill as you possess in a romantic way without going into full make-out mode. Once done, ask them "Sooo, are you cold now?". Congradulations, you've just executed the cutest kiss on the planet. All standard issue procedures such as a breath mint, good atmosphere, etc. still apply.
OMG! my boyfriend just did The "Are You Cold?" Kiss on me! it was soooooooooo cute. he's the most thoughtful boyfriend ever
kiss cute date boyfriend romantic
by ec1ip7ic Nov 11, 2007 share this
4. q.e.d.
buy q.e.d. mugs, tshirts and magnets
abbreviation for Latin- "Quam Effusio Deleo," or 'How one annhialates enthusiasm, excitement, interest.' when someone uses this term in any form, understand they are trying to put you to sleep and violate you while you drowse, and probably take your wallet, regardless of how smart they sound, that drone you're hearing is only a substitute for the hypnotist's watch.
Professor Blumpkin finished his thesis with "and so you can clearly understand what I have demonstrated. It is simple, Q.E.D. The next thing I knew someone from the back row of the lecture hall was yelling, "Yo, Jimmy, look out" I roused myself to see Blumpkin removing his hand from my crotchal area. "What?" He protested, "I had just dropped my laser pointer, is all."
blumpkin steamer relativity no sense of humor if you need the urban dictiornary to define this word or defend it you need a date or a hand job
by Clevelend Steamer, PHD May 10, 2008 share this
5. Lifeline
buy lifeline mugs, tshirts and magnets
A phone call by a friend to another friend at a predetermined time. Mostly used in bad situations, first dates, or when someone goes somewhere they simply don't want to be.

Most times, a lifeline is used to show that one friend is in distress, when he's actually chillin at home with two beers, one in hand, and one waiting for the other friend. The distress call is what gives the friend his opporunity to leave, and also gives the impression to whoever is litening to the phone call that it's serious.

The lifeline remains the most efficient, yet most underused method of ditching bad dates. Sometimes hard to coordinate, lifelines prove their worth in effectiveness when your friend's girlfriend doesn't get pissed (and consequently, stop putting out) at your friend when you ditched her best friend on a date.
"Dude, Steve, I got a date with Jessica tonight at 7, give me a lifeline around 7:45, and then I'll meet you at your pad."
by John Boy Jan 6, 2004 share this
6. shoot from the hip
buy shoot from the hip mugs, tshirts and magnets
Originally made by Adam Waugh of California, meaning "to hump".

It originated from the motion given when a gunman shoots from the hip, and the recoil of the gun gyrates his hip back and forth. This motion is often simulated, with a pistol-shaped hand at the hip, in slow motion, to point out a girl with whom one would like to "shoot from the hip" with to one's friends.
Billy was doing fine with his cousin as his date to prom until he started to shoot from the hip.
by el marco Aug 29, 2004 share this
7. America
buy america mugs, tshirts and magnets
America is a continent situated between the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean. It has three parts: North America, Center America and South America. Even though everyone who was born in this continent should be called "American" this name is used only for people who was born in the United States "of" America which is only one country in this huge continent. And let's not forget the real inhabitants of this continent, the aborigins who were killed and damaged were the real americans too. However, in the spanish language the word "Americano" (translation for american) means anyone who was born in the continent called America, though some people can use this word to name the north american people, that's just a show of how powerful imperialist countries can impose whatever they want to anyone behind them. More specific words would be: North American, Center American and South American.
America was discovered by Cristobal Colón* on October 12th 1492**

*let's not change his name cause he was from Spain, it is also said that he was Italian(from Genova, which is probably true) and his name would be Cristobolo Colombo. Anyway, his name certainly wasn't "Christopher", lol, just gimme a break.

**This can be read in most text books, but the truth is that America had a population before the conquerors arrived, so that would be the date when the killing and robbing would gain a new name(then we could change "discovered" for "invaded" which sounds more accurate). Some folks like to call that the start of civilization in a savage continent, honestly that's bullshit.
american americano cristobal colón american continent continente americano
by Hand of God Dec 28, 2005 share this
love it
hate it