Revolutionary band that decided that the best way to make music is to cut off their own testicles and write lyrics about problems that melodramatic teenagers have. At first, they wanted to play Goth music, paint their fingernails, and write in blogs. This doesn't make too much money so they moved on to downsizing to an entire new ensemble (with their parents money of course). Bought new acoustic guitars, a lighter drumset, haircuts, and new knifes to cut their wrists with.

After the transformation, the lead singer had a revelation. He realized that his balls were the reason they weren't making any money. He had surgery to get them removed that way his voice was higher. After the removal, he experienced a strange side effect in which the recipient feels depressed all the time (probably cause he has no balls).

After writing some songs, the band needed some lyrics. The default backup lyrics writer had no balls, could he do it? Why yes, yes he did. Unfortunately, all he wrote about was his ex-girlfriends, failed attempts to cut his wrists, his bottle of zoloft, and his cool sneakers.

The band was an immediate hit, the lyrics hit the problems of every melodramatic, mildly retarded teenager of America. I mean, the music made the listeners have more confidence (Some guy with no balls makes alot of money, thats gotta raise someones confidence).

After they sold theirselves to the devil, they made a music video to put on MTV. The worst TV station ever created.

In conclusion, if you are looking for music that will make you want to slit your wrists, beat the shit out of your ex girlfriend, masturbate to kiddy porn, and cry all day, you've found it. Dashboard Confessional.

They have a book coming out soon, its called "How to produce shit and make money!". (Publisher: MTV)
"Rashboard Confessional sucks."
by Veritas_Aequitas February 24, 2005
Acoustic Emo band.
Living In Your Letters
by Alex February 13, 2004
When the driver of a car receives oral sex whilst still in the seat.
As we sat in the parking lot making out, Jane decided to give me a Dashboard Confessional.
by Matt McBeth August 10, 2004
Dashboard Confessional is emo however on the softer side of emo it is an amazing band if you like it. All the people here trashign dashboard are either not into this type of music or are so retarded that they can't comprehend the lyrics...dashboard's lyrics are beautiful and graceeful and for the record all u "haters" who say chris carabba cant sing for shit i have heard him sing and he is magnificent better than most bands.
here is some of there gorg. lyrics..

"This is incredible. Starving, insatiable, yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible. Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time? Well this is the last time. Well this is the last time well this is the last time."
by jenfromdablock December 01, 2004
wow i'm really tired of ignorant people being total assholes about this band. do people insult you for the metal music you listen to all of the time? i certainly hope not. because insulting us about the music we find refuge in isnt any different.

to all of the people who think chris carrabba is a girl for his lyrics and he has "ovaries" or whatever you say, do you have ANY idea how small-minded you sound? its just like saying: women cant play sports or skateboard simply because playing sports is a guy thing to do. if a guy who plays guitar and talks about his feeling is such an OPPRESSIVE thing to do, well minaswell get rid of equality for minorities then. deny us of our rights and simply commence the debacle of the free world.

chris carrabba is exercising his right to free speech by composing his songs and venting his emotions. there is no law that says YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL OR DIE. if you dont like the band, dont trash them, just simply dont listen to their stuff.
At the Civic Tour:
"All of you guys screaming faggot and waving your fucking middle finger out in the crowd, come up on stage. I'm giving you the mic. It's an open forum.

-silence for a couple of minutes-

Come on up! I'm talking about what i feel, so why dont you talk about what you feel? Sure i like Thrice and The Get Ups Kids too. they're great bands. But that doesnt mean that i dont have something valid to say.

-still silence-

Well if i'm such a pussy for singing about what i feel... well then this pussy is going to sing some more songs."
by Cheryl Lynn July 12, 2004
Thee talk you have with a person you're dating while in the car. Instead of looking them deep into their eyes to spill all, you speak at the windshield-dashboard area and exit the stopped vehicle.

"Sherrie drove me home after the movie on date #3. I gave her the dashboard confessional and bounced."
by 'los with the most April 13, 2006
if you're going to liten to emo, listen to dashboard confessional
Dashboard Confessional isn't half bad
by Lydia May 29, 2004
A truly amazing band in my opinion. They're basically acoustic emo.

For you people that bash Dashboard Confessional, you do have the right. Because if we took away your right to express your opinion, we'd have to take away ours to make it fair.
Although I think it is better to just not listen to the music if you don't like it than to bash it, you have the right to say whatever you want.

Yes, Dashboard Confessional has very sad, depressing lyrics,
But that's because he wrote them while his heart was broken.
People listen to sad music because alot of times it reminds them of good times that they've lost.
So yep, that pretty much explains it. I like Dashboard Confessional.
by Rik Jones June 29, 2006

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