doghouse roses 

When you've fucked up and pissed of your wife/girlfriend or whomever, you go buy some expensive roses, shower, shave, and put on a clean shirt, and show up at the offended party's house or apt., with the appropriate hangdog expression and present her with said roses, and ask forgiveness, and try to convincingly promise never to do it again. If you're lucky and she's sweeter than your dogass deserves, she'll accept the roses, invite you in, and you'll have hot makeup sex. From a collection of short stories of the same name by musician Steve Earle.

Wife's sister: "You stupid piece of shit, you've really pissed her off this time. If she kicks your sorry ass out, you richly deserve it!
You: "I know, I know. Do you think she'll accept this expensive bottle of wine and bouquet of doghouse roses?
Wife's sister: "I wouldn't but she might."

doghouse roses by lexiphanic February 20, 2010

In The Doghouse 

Somewhere you don't want to be. When one's partner is displeased with them for one or more reasons (with the exception of women who can be pissed off with a man for no reason whatsoever).

I was in the doghouse yesterday for getting home late after work and missing the meal my wife made for us, so I bought her some flowers this morning.

In The Doghouse by Silver Snake December 15, 2008

In The Doghouse 

When your partner won't speak to you or look at you. Most will stay here for between 1-7 days until their partner has calmed down or got over their PMS, PMT, general bad mood, or their angry reaction to your unacceptable behaviour (drinking binge etc). Symptoms are :

- Self-Acceptance - that you are on the way there. You could probably stop now and be ok, but you don't want to. For example, if you were drinking for 2 days, you may as well stay out for 3 or 4.
- Denial - Thinking that your wife or girlfriend will be ok when you finally decide to come home.
- Bargaining - After you have been ignored for a period of time (days / hours depending on the severity of the incident), you may try to bargain to get out of the dog-house early. It is a normal reaction, but most try to do this too early. Better to ride it out.
- Spending - Rational thinking on your part that this has gone on long enough and a willingness to spend money on your partner to get over it.
- Relapse - When bargaining and spending are unsuccessful, you may decide to go on another bender, or perform the same bad behaviour.
- Remorse - Feeling that you have done something wrong. Very rare and is only applicable is less than 0.001% of doghouse incidents.

It can be rated on a scale of 1-5.

1 - Cosmetic (1 day stint in doghouse)
2 - Minor (2-3 days)
3 - Major (4-5 days)
4 - Severe(6-7 days)
5 - Epic (Over 7 days) - This is generally considered more than doghouse material and more like a shithouse

"There comes a point in your life where women rule the roost. You think you are the boss but you're not the boss. The missus had me in the doghouse for going on a two day bender in town just before Christmas."

In The Doghouse by bigsizzler December 15, 2014

Doghouse

1. Often thought of as a figurative place where boyfriends and husbands end up when they are on bad terms with there girlfriend or wife. The reality is the doghouse is a super dope place where guys that are in trouble go to have a real solid time away from their significant other. It is the best version of a man cave with all of a man's best friends present that he can escape to when in hot water with their significant other. In general, there is usually lots of beer there.

2. Snoop Dogg's place of residence

Jon was pumped to be hanging with his boys in the doghouse after his wifey got mad at him for being inebriated instead of folding the socks!

Doghouse by bd2390 November 14, 2016

doghouse

What do you do with a bad dog? You make them sleep outside in the small, cold, doghouse.

Putting someone in the "doghouse" is to shame, humiliate, and cut them off from everything and everyone else. The same way a dog is cut off from everything when they're forced outside, and have nowhere left to sleep but their dog house.

Yes I lied! It was a sin, I've committed many sins! Have I displeased you, you feckless thug?! 3.8 million new jobs. That wasn't good? Bail out Mexico?! Increase foreign trade?! Thirty million acres of new land for conservation! Put Mendoza on the bench! Raised three children!!

That's not enough to buy me out of the doghouse?!

doghouse by SwampFox56 November 2, 2015

doghouse

Where you are figuratively when you're on bad terms with your girlfriend or wife.

Freddy knew that if he wanted to get out of the doghouse with his bitch he'd better start wearing her thighs for earmuffs.

doghouse by Nick D April 1, 2004

Doghouse's Laws of Television  

Situations in respect of people and programmes on Television.

From observation, recognising that the general standard of television in my opinion has deteriorated and continues to do so year by year, so much so I now watch very little, I’ve found as far as the programme quality and content on all television channels, the following Doghouse's Laws of Television often apply.

I started compiling this list several years ago and some of these "laws" are now occasionally mentioned by contributors to a specific TV network message board, though of course they can apply to any channel.
I'm sure other contributors may relate to some of them and can think of other examples of practices which could be added to the list.


With a new programme, if your impression of it after ten minutes is that it's going to be rubbish, you’ll only be right 95% of the time.


The number of advance programme trails screened, will be in inverse proportion to the quality of the programme. The ”best bits” of any programme will be included in the trail.

The volume of background music will often be in inverse proportion to the amount of watchable activity on the screen at that time.


Any TV audience gets the standard of programmes it deserves. It’s no good complaining about the quality of a programme if you continue to watch it.

If an idea for a programme suggested to a TV network commissioning department isn’t another soap in one form or another, or requires an "in your face" presenter/auto-cutie, celebrities, judges, phone votes, or the inclusion of dysfunctional members of the public, it is unlikely to be made.

The number of programme presenters appearing at any one time, will usually be in inverse proportion to the quality of the programme.

The number and variety of similar programmes on TV, are likely to be in inverse proportion to their cost to present.

To reach the widest audience, in a programme where the subject is of a specific nature, it may include totally unrelated elements in an attempt to also “engage” viewers who aren’t the slightest bit interested in the actual topic, in a futile attempt to increase the ratings.

Some programmes, even a few news bulletins, given the level at which the programme makers pitch their production, should have the words; "for Dummies" added to the title.

If you've any doubts about watching a programme, from the trails or advertising you've seen, take a chance, give it a miss.

Doghouse's Laws of Television by Doghouse Riley November 2, 2008