Da-itus.....The fear that, out there, somewhere, someone is happy...

An organic cerebral dysfunction, Da-itus is characterised by
megalomaniacal outbursts of a phallic and anal nature, akin to
pukka-phobia. A psychosomatic disease, Da-itus is commonly thought to
affect morose adolescents exposed to coitus-interruptus, or more
likely, coitus-nevergotus. Symptoms include a tendency to suffer
moments of prostrate, tempestuous puffiness in the nether regions,
Da-itus is often associated with salacious, irksome, invertebrates,
with sufferers tending to be prone to a plethera of fatal atractions.