Instant Messaging Domestic Partner
An IMDP is someone you
chat with online more than you speak to anyone else; this includes people living w/ you. The first things you do when you wake up are login to your IM and await the popup window w/ “good morn’n” - the first of the
day’s 900+ lines of
chat. You IM about everything from life, love, relationships, friendships, pets, family, kids, taking shits, fashion, lack of bathing, people you are stalking, people stalking you, farts,
food, barf, boogers, dicks, dildos,
sex, music, movies,
work, people you hate, people you love and a true IMDP IMing session
will have multiple conversations happening simultaneously w/out confusion. IMing your IMDP
will take top priority over important things such as
work & family. You may IM while at the dinner table with your family, while watching TV, or talking on the phone with a real person, and most importantly you
will IM about the shit you are taking as you are taking it! Your IMDP is the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person at night. You talk about your IMDP on the rare occasions you are not IMing with them. While on dates your conversations
will likely start with “OMG, the other day my IMDP IM’ed me saying….”. Friday and Saturday nights are spent together, each with a bottle (or 10) of $2 wine, IMing each other while getting shit faced
drunk & laughing at how pathetic your lives have become but secretly enjoying the late night cyber boozing!
A real excerpt from an I.M.D.P. chat (names changed)....
Jane: Good Morning!
Jill: Morn’n! I was watching Glee this morning and the mean
cheerleading coach was doing the master cleanse but she made hers with lemons, syrup, Cayenne pepper, and ipecac! LOL might try that
Jane: wow - I have never tried it
Jill: I call it the "leave work early cocktail"
Jane: what does it feel like?
Jill: like a delicious mix of healthy bulimia and freedom from the
man! LOL
Jane: MY DOG JUST DRANK MY PEE
nevermind
THE ONE TIME I flush
damnit
Jill: lame