I'd Rather Shove Wasps Up My Ass 

Yorkshire Sarcastic Reply.
The response given when asked to do something you can't be fucked doing.

Bobby: Dave, make us a brew
Dave: Nah, I'd rather shove wasps up my ass than make you a fucking brew.

I'd Rather Shove Wasps Up My Ass by Greg_the_Smeg February 6, 2019

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6 

To be judged by 12 is to go to court and to be judged by a 12 man jury, which all court trials have.

To be carried by 6 is to be dead. It is common for 6 people to carry a coffin (3 on each side) to and from the hearse.

In total the phrase "I'd rather be judged by 12, than carried by 6" means that the person would rather kill someone and go to prison than to, themself, be killed and have to be buried.

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6

I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6 by Outlaw2DaDeath December 31, 2005

I'd rather have cake

This is sometimes used among the asexual community expressing that some on the ace spectrum would rather have cake over sex. Choosing to have both have cake and eat it too.

Random person: want to do it
The asexual: nah I'd rather have cake.

I'd rather have cake by I like cake🏳️‍🌈👩🏻💜🍰 June 5, 2021

I'd rather saw my own nads off with a kite string. 

A phrase used to convey extreme disgust at a proposition.

Jack: Hey, are you going to that Kenny G. concert?

Chris: I'd rather saw my own nads off with a kite string.

I'd rather saw my own nads off with a kite string. by Dirty Shastard December 24, 2009

I'd rather nail my penis to a burning building 

An expression of extreme disgust over a proposed course of action. First uttered in the movie, "The Fan," by John Leguizamo.

"Baby, let's go antiques shopping this weekend."

"I'd rather nail my penis to a burning building."

I'd rather nail my penis to a burning building by Artie D. May 1, 2006

I'd Rather Go Hunting With Dick Cheney 

An expression of opposition to a proposed course of action. Something you'd rather not do, like getting shot in the face.

Girl: Do you want to go see the new Twilight movie?

Guy: I'd rather go hunting with Dick Cheney.

I'd Rather Go Hunting With Dick Cheney by B. Snooks June 16, 2010

I'd rather sandpaper a bobcat's ass in a phone booth filled with kerosene 

Phrase used to verbalize just how much you don't want to do something

I'd rather sandpaper a bobcat's ass in a phone booth filled with kerosene than to have to your mom out again!

I'd rather sandpaper a bobcat's ass in a phone booth filled with kerosene by Autohaulic August 9, 2008