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23.
1. noun - word to substitute for the effectionaty application of the word "cunt"
2. noun - a piece of ass.
3. noun - referring to a person in power that has the best intentions, but often fails miserably at everything they do. Usually preceded by the word "Captain"
1. I wouldn't mind filling her crumpet with a wad of my love honey.
2. Check out the crumpet on that walking spit roast.
3. If Captain crumpet doesn't start Stumpy Stu on the bench this game, I'm going to shove a stick up his ass and use him as a toilet brush.
by dero-licked December 16, 2004
 
1.
Brittish slang for a hot chick
There's a lovely bit of crumpet there...
by tom ingle February 26, 2005
 
2.
A yeast and flour based breakfast food, featuring lots of holes. Nice with butter.
Would you like another crumpet, Jeeves?
by suzylou October 25, 2003
 
3.
a sexy person
she's a nice bit of crumpet
by lex dex April 18, 2003
 
4.
word to describe a good looking female
"she was a good bit of crumpet"
by Fluffage July 26, 2006
 
5.
1) a biscuitty thingy peoples eat in England.
2) an STD similar to crabs, but like, different.
1) I will eat your soul for brunch with tea and crumpets!
2) Holy hell, that whore gave me crumpets!
by moony November 18, 2003
 
6.
a delicous british delicacy that braden has yet to try
my god fergus these crumpets are magnificent
by newcastleunited#1 January 02, 2010
 
7.
An exclamation used instead of a curse word. (i.e. Crap, Dammit, etc.)
Sandra: Oh crumpets! i dropped my phone in the toilet!
by whatdidshejustsay? October 23, 2010