The meaning of this word is often mis-understood in the British Isles. Instead of meaning an attractive woman, it in fact means the polar opposite.

A Crumpet is in fact a horrifically ugly mess of a woman, who bares some similarities to a Crumpet. E.G: A cratered face, A greasy face, A short rounded physique. A Crumpet is in fact a woman, who a man should never touch with a bargepole. If a man does 'Eat a Crumpet,' he should lose all respect and all social status.
Example 1.
Male #1: *Wretches* Look at that mess on the other side of the road!
Male #2: What a crumpet. I'd never spread my butter on that.

Example 2.
Male #1: *Wakes up in unfamiliar bedroom. Looks at the woman lay in bed next to him. Instantly thinks 'What a filthy crumpet!' He then legs it to the nearest exit.*
by BorisJohnson April 07, 2011
Brittish slang for a hot chick
There's a lovely bit of crumpet there...
by tom ingle February 26, 2005
A yeast and flour based breakfast food, featuring lots of holes. Nice with butter.
Would you like another crumpet, Jeeves?
by suzylou October 25, 2003
a sexy person
she's a nice bit of crumpet
by lex dex April 18, 2003
word to describe a good looking female
"she was a good bit of crumpet"
by Fluffage July 26, 2006
1) a biscuitty thingy peoples eat in England.
2) an STD similar to crabs, but like, different.
1) I will eat your soul for brunch with tea and crumpets!
2) Holy hell, that whore gave me crumpets!
by moony November 18, 2003
a delicous british delicacy that braden has yet to try
my god fergus these crumpets are magnificent
by newcastleunited#1 January 02, 2010
An exclamation used instead of a curse word. (i.e. Crap, Dammit, etc.)
Sandra: Oh crumpets! i dropped my phone in the toilet!
by whatdidshejustsay? October 23, 2010

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