noun. a member of a highly elite force of americans trained to randomly select innocent drivers and pull them over for excessively stupid reasons, such as a loud muffler when sports cars are typically supossed to have loud mufflers, fuzzy dice because they don't own sexy car ornaments, and they're tired of picking their asshole so they pull you over to harrass you instead
dude, you'll never believe this
a cop pulled me over for a loud muffler.
isn't your car a Z24 chevy?
yep. the dumbass didn't even realize this
to get, recieve, purchase, steal, or have
Yo im about to cop a drink, want one?
1. An officer of the law.
2. To obtain
Are you a cop? No? Aight, lemme cop summa dat weed.
An asshole in uniform.
The following joke illustrates the perfect example:
A woman was running late for work. She zooms along an overpass. Unbeknownst to her, a cop seeking to make his quota in order to be promoted to prime asshole is hiding behind a billboard at the end of the overpass; he measures her speed with a radar gun, takes off after her and pulls her over.
"Where's the fire?"
"What fire? I'm late to work."
"Is that so? What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher."
"How do you do that?"
"I work all my fingers in until I have both hands all the way inside, then I stretch out the rectum until it's a big asshole."
"And what, may I ask, do you do with a big asshole?"
"I put him behind a billboard on an overpass and give him a radar gun."
A police officer, derived from the word "copper", which is what police officers were slangly called when their badges were made of copper.
*Damn cop gave me a ticket, I fucking hate him.
*Damn cop took my yay, I fucking hate him.
*Damn cop shot my ass for robbing that liqour store. I fucking hate him.
80% of the time: An average guy on a slight power trip just doing what he told to do and wasting other peoples' time. Cops are usually trained to think that they're 'better' than citizens. Can commonly be found writing tickets, drinking coffee, and eating donuts. Perhaps sometimes they break up parties, pull over someone for DUI, or something similar. Not very adept at thinking, though. In really dangerous areas however, cops are usually bigger jackasses, but for once they're doing something useful (i.e. their JOBS.)
18% of the time: A jackass on a huge power trip that uses his enforcement powers to indirectly invoke a silly measuring contest. These guys (or also women, because female cops from my observations tend to be huge bitches with a need to act tough) feel good from humiliating people, using the maximum amount of force necessary, acting superior, etc. Tends to be the kind with a huge ego who bullied/was bullied in school and is trying to make up for it.
2% of the time: Good, hardworking people who reluctantly enforce stupid laws as little as possible while taking true violent offenders off the street. Usually pretty nice to ordinary people and good at diffusing situations.
Most cops are kind of lame, but not too horrible, a good portion are complete jackasses, and a few are worthy people. Sounds like most of society.
A government-funded genetically defective perverted fuckstain with the intellect of stale dog shit. Cops act like tyrannical assholes in attempts to make up for sexual inadequacies/shortcomings/predilections/cofusion.
"I became a cop so I could carry a gun, because it's the closest thing to a hard-on I'll ever experience, because my dick looks like a limp cocktail weenie. I'm afraid of women making fun of what they call my 'extra belly button.' Hell, I gotta admit, Women never really did it for me anyway. But it's different when I'm watching kiddie porn. Then it becomes the hardest cocktail weenie you ever saw. I can't make up my mind whether I like boys more than girls."
---Exerpt taken from taken from a policeman during an interview. The piece of shit requested total anonymity for fear of losing his job, while being cornholed by his partner.
steal or walk out of a place with
"I went to the dealership and copped me a pimped-out Suburban for 40 G."
"I copped a feel on yo' bitch in that volleyball game, nigga!"