Shit Contraction

Prior to taking a dump, you get horrible pains in your stomach. Those pains sometimes get so bad that you just want to lay on the ground and get into the fetal position.

Pregnant women get contractions and they must hurt a shit load and so do shit contractions.

Duder 1: Dude, hurry up in that bathroom, I have to take a dump!
Duder 2: Hold on, I'm only brushing my teeth.
Duder 1: I'm having shit contractions, please hurry up!

Shit Contraction by FoulMe January 4, 2012

Contractionitis 

The inability to use contractions, often making the person sound long winded due to the over emphasizing of mundane points.

Brad can not, will not, and does not use contractions due to a severe case of contractionitis.

Contractionitis by itsthatbradguy July 13, 2010

Celebrity Contraction 

When the Mass Media and/or tabloids combine the names of linked celebrities to save precious column space. ie. Bennifer, Brangelina

Guy: Did you hear Demishton just got married?
Girl: What?
Guy: Demishton, you know Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Girl: Oh that is the Worst Celebrity Contraction ever.

Celebrity Contraction by Ben Faulding September 27, 2005

double contraction

A unique weapon of grammar combining words in a fashion similar to a contraction, but with three words and two apostrophes instead of two and one, respectively. Usually used by people who are too important to speak with any normal regard for english.

"I wouldn't've used a double contraction."
"I'd've told you about double contractions, but I would have had to kill you."

double contraction by A. Robert Dowson September 11, 2008

Premature ventricular contractions 

When your heart skips a beat. Usually because of a person you are interested in.

I like that boy so much. He gives me premature ventricular contractions everytime I see him.

Premature ventricular contractions by roaritsme January 4, 2012

Contracts 

An endless and eternal pit devoid of all pleasure and goodness; the nerve center of all imaginable horrors; a putrid, oozing curse upon the world; that which makes us envy the dead; a gigantic, hulking nightmare factory; the ghost of lost freedom that forever haunts your soul; the mindkiller; a smoothie of broken glass, maggots, and metal filings; a mountain of reeking shit.

"I'm sorry, I can't go out tonight. I have to study for Contracts."

Contracts by Are Jonnson December 9, 2008

poop contractions 

When you've been harboring a major cable so long that your body starts to forcibly reject it, giving you the feelings of contractions in your anus. Often accompanied by ass sweat, and anal convulsions.

Man I've been holding off on dropping this bad boy off so long, I'm starting to have poop contractions!

poop contractions by rockerdon666 December 4, 2009