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Conniptions 

something that is given to you when you realise being Unkindled is worthless
Well your not alone. We Unkindled are worthless. Cant even die right.
Gives me conniptions
Conniptions by Spoopy Chicken October 3, 2018

Constipation Proclamation 

The declaration that all must eat fruit and food high in bran to help the flow of certain things coming out of the body
The president signed the constipation proclamation stating all must eat vegetables and fruits, and things high in bran

vacation constipation 

Losing the ability to poop when you lose that home field advantage.

May be a result of changes in eating and drinking habits, elevation, fiber intake, stress, etc.

Vacation constipation is usually followed by a glacier dump.
I'm having a horrible case of vacation constipation...can't wait to get back home and drop a couple belt notches.
vacation constipation by nofx9019 September 6, 2010

contraption adaption 

1) The period of time needed to familiarize oneself with a new electronic device.
2) Often, a period of extreme anxiety and frustration stemming from one's need to learn a lot of technical information in a short to non-existent period of time.
1) "I'm sorry, Joe. I won't be in to work today. I'm exhausted from staying up all night learning how to use my new i-phone and am suffering this morning from a bad case of contraption adaption."

2) "I'm now limiting my persuit of new e-toys to only those gadgets with a low level of contraption adaption."

3) The salesguy said: "If you buy this new Mac laptop today, I guarantee you'll start using it today." "Yeah, sure", I said. "I'll BET there's no contraption adaption for THIS machine!"

constipation 

when you've gotta go, but you're ass says no
chips got constipation
constipation by botaf November 11, 2003

Verbal constipation 

Verbal constipation is when you have a lot on your mind to say but you ether don't have the courage to say it or simply choose not to. Verbal constipation when pent up can cause depression, stress, anger and self doubt ETC.
Shane: Hey did Alex ever get that stuff off his chest to Danielle?

Josiah: No he has verbal constipation man... He haven't said a word and he is really down on himself.
Verbal constipation by Oglefro August 1, 2013