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Constipated 

Me: Doctor! I think i'm constipated.
Doctor: What did you eat?
Me: Really nothing but i did shove flex tape up my ass.
Morgan Freeman: And the moral here is.. Don't shove flex tape up your ass

Italian consulate 

A place where you go if you are desperate to lose time. A place where you go for experiencing red tape in its supreme form. A place where you go if you want to experience administration as it was handled in the 17th century or earlier.
I have too much time today, I guess I'll go to the Italian consulate on Park Avenue.

conspute 

The opposite of dispute while drinking
To agree with; drunkenly.
To agree with the truth or validity of; non doubt: Her friends consputed her intentions.
To strive to win (a prize, for example); contest for: The other team consputed the our claim to the championship.
I totally conspute with you.
conspute by magicmike August 18, 2003

Constipated 

When you're full of crap, and you don't give a shit
John was full of crap, but he couldn't shit, he was constipated
Constipated by Mystic_Snowfang June 25, 2009

Curly Haired Constipated Fuck 

Curly Haired Constipated Fuck is one of the tributes from The Hunger Games. He is played by Ethan Jamieson, and his "nickname" arose from the tumblr blog "badlydrawnhungergames" who fell in love with him and named him Curly Haired Constipated Fuck.
I love Curly Haired Constipated Fuck!

Constipated Mouse 

The 'Constipated Mouse' is a sound effect achieved by yelling a long 'aahh!', in a more high-pitched voice from the top of your throat; a baby-voice or childish voice while making the Constipated Mouse noise is also required. It is also possible to speak in this mouse voice. When you are making this effect, just imagine a simple mouse trying to force a bowel movement out on his tiny, porcelain toilet.

This sound is very useful in intense situations, such as a murderer entering your house.
*Murderer breaks lock open on front door*.
Resident: "Aahh!" *In the Constipated Mouse voice*.
Murderer: "What the hell is that?"
Resident: "It's our constipated mouse, you better get the f*ck outta here before he takes a poop all over your God damn face... uh-oh, here he comes!"
"Aahh!"

Chris: "Aah!" *In the Constipated Mouse voice*.
Nick: "Haha! That sounds like a constipated mouse!"
Chris: "God damn it," *In the Constipated Mouse voice*.