a device used by a dude so that the chick he's fucking doesn't become pregnant, or STI infected.
Girl #1: What'd your mom say about you have sex with your boy last night?
Girl #2: She said. "Alright, make him use a condom."
by yourneighborlyrapist November 26, 2008
it is something that u put penis, it helps you not make baby's, because the partners vagina will open super wide in 9 months and a baby will pop out of it and scare everyone with its crazy yelling.
I put A condom on my erect penis so i didn't make a baby.
by jamie February 02, 2004
a piece of shit that never works resulting in accidental pregnancies
Bill: Oops, my condom broke!
Susy: Shit! Are you serious? Now I'm pregnant!

Don: Mommy where do babies come from?
Susy: Condoms.
by Kristen H. April 15, 2008
A rubber thing that you out over a guy's penis so you don't get a disease or get pregnant. SMART IDEA, FREAK MIDGETS SUCK!
Girl: Heyyyyy baby, wanna have sex?? ................. without a condom? ;)

Boy: Aw, hell no bitch!! FREAK MIDGETS SUCK.
by gingerbread gal August 07, 2011
an important tool to pimps!!!
I felt like a pimp when i used a condom.
by malitia July 10, 2008
A plastic bag used used during the thai water festival (Songkran) to keep vital articles and documents from getting soaked.
look at that kid with the bucket of water... quick get the Condom.
by T-o-m-i September 21, 2006
A latex, polyurethane, or natural sheepskin oblong barrier placed over the penis for eliminating most chance of pregnancy for human males who can:

1. Actually fit into the damned things without losing all bloodflow and causing permanent damage.
2. Do not experience an extremely vast, sexually debilitating loss of sensitivity due to the thickness of the material and the lack of circulation.

Condoms, among those with penises longer than 190mm or wider than 52mm, are sometimes likened to wrapping a standard rubber band around one's wrist sixteen times and then trying to play a musical instrument, such as a piano or guitar, using that hand, for an hour. Generally, in such a scenario, one's hand will experience first pressure, followed by throbbing pain, succeeded by a piercing pain, ending finally in numb limpness and likely permanent or long-lasting damage to nerve endings or blood vessels.

Such individuals generally protest that while condoms are a brilliant invention, they need to be made to accomodate more human proportions, as they are available in two basic sizes: short and fat, or long and narrow. In all latex or polyurethane cases, the elastic band at the base of the condom is always 2" (0.06mm), which is the root of the problem yet does not vary with the width of the shaft and head areas of the condom sizes.

The only reasonably sized condoms in these cases are the natural condoms, which are unfortunately made of sheep intestine, and smell like it. Yet this type proves an option preferrable over the absurd designs of the vast repertoire of other condom types.
'Jeanette is pregnant now.'
'What? Kevin, didn't you wear a condom?'
'Yeah, it was actually the first time we ever used a condom in our seven years of having sex, but I stayed inside her for hours and didn't notice until it was too late, because I was wearing the condom.'
'Wow. Should have stuck with withdrawal, huh?'
'Yeah, definitely.'
by Kyle Lees April 09, 2006

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