1. Some one who does not know how to do the simplest things on a computer, even if it's right there in front of them.

2. A computer that is really slow and crappy and never does what you want it to do... even if you're a computer expert.

Goerge: Hey Jimmy, how do i turn it on?
Jimmy: The big button.
George: Uhh... What?!

Today, I tried to sign up for facebook. I filled out all the fields, but I couldn't find the sign-up button. I'm such a computard.

Computer: There is a problem with the server. Application will close in 10 seconds.
Amanda: WTF?! Maybe I'll just reboot it.

Computer: *after being rebooted* Startup Failed. restart Computer Shut Down cancel

Today, I decided to use Patrick's computer. It took 10 minutes just to get in to the internet. Ugh. It's such a computard.
by lvvrgrl June 18, 2009
Top Definition
One who lacks proficiency and competence within the field of computers to the extent at which he or she is an annoyance to others. A computard is prone to asking inane questions requiring one to break an explanation down to mere two word steps consiting of one verb and one noun (i.e. move mouse, click icon, etc).
Dude, this one computard once asked me how to extract a zip file and I was like "Dude download WinRAR" and he was like "how do I download" and I was like "WTF dude".
by Vishal Agarwala July 06, 2004
One who is unable to use a computer, or more commonly one who is rubbish at the internet. Portmanteau of computer and retard.
quoteSPOILER ALERT: color;whiteat the end, he turns out to be his father/coler]/quote

You computard.
by SelfControl November 13, 2004
Someone who is computer illiterate
Man you're such a computard, don't you know how to copy and paste.
by Axerty November 01, 2004
A computer user who's hella retarded and hasn't any idea what the hell they're doing with a computer. Someone who thinks a virus scanner will protect them from pop-ups and banner ads. Someone who deserves nothing more than a limited-rights account and no ability to install software themselves. If they need Flash or Acrobat Reader, they need to call IT instead of bothering downloading themselves. Viruses and trojans were written because these people deserve them.
Thea is such a computard; she spilled coffee in her laptop and screwed up the MBR on the desktop I let her use — she's such a roob!
by Joshwalla May 23, 2009
One who is computer retarded.
One who is resistant to age of times.
One who cannot find the desktop or the dreaded toolbar.
One who does not get the distinction of right click or left click.
One who jumps on the couch when you mention a mouse.
The girl on our team is a computard, she's always playing with her mouse and never gets anything done.
by jonjeff July 17, 2014
Someone who is 100% completely computer illiterate.
My boss is the biggest computard I have ever met!
by Nasty N8 Ball May 01, 2008
A person who under no circumstance should own a computer. Not even a Mac
This guy is such a computard he thinks the mouse is a toy for the cat.
by arris January 27, 2008
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