When you evacuate your colon so fast that the intestinal walls slap together and cause pain.
The condition usually occurs after consuming bulk fiber or Pho noodles that act like a sort of turd rebar. The vacuum created by eliminating this exceptionally long and fat fiber dumpling at high speed causes the colon walls to collapse and impact each other.
You: Boss, I have to leave work because I've just had an instance of colon slap.
Boss: Okay, have a craptastic day and cut back on the Pho noodles and bulk fiber.