a band to listen to in the bathtub while your crying and masturbating using your tears as lubricant
She broke up up with me so i listened to coldplay
by bitchplease1111 November 11, 2011

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1. A shitty newb Brit band that thinks they're the greatest band in the world, as claimed by Chris Martin.

2. A band that fails to realize they suck, and that they should bow down to the likes of Radiohead, U2, Oasis, and Depeche Mode.

3. Any band capable of producing/performing fucking annoying music, as demonstrated by their song "Clocks" - which redundantly cycles the same scales of notes for the entirety of the track.

4. A band in which any of its members give their children stupid names like "Apple"

5. A band that relies on simple riffs and time signatures, lacking the complexity that bands like Radiohead are capable of writing in the their sleep.
"Haha Greatest band in the world? You guys gotta me shittin' me, you stupid Coldplay!"

"This song must be by a Coldplay because it's driving me fucking insane."

"Hey, that sounds like an easy song to play/write. Is that a Coldplay track?"

"Oh, you named your kid Orange? So you must be part of a Coldplay."

"This can't be the work of Ed O'Brien. It's got the simplicity of a Coldplay."

"Thom Yorke has more skills on the guitar, piano, and vocals than the frontman of this Coldplay."
by Guitar Goddess November 13, 2006

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When you 'play' with yourself, while your genitals are below average body temperature.
In the winter, I have no option but to ColdPlay with my self.
by FortOfDoom January 24, 2015

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The practice of playing random, unknown or new music for the first time.
As in:
"A cold play of the early recordings of Daft Punk, then Baby Geniuses and Paula Abdul."

or

Sam just got insert here yesterday and tried playing it/singing it/ burping the syllables through a straw/digitally remastering and re-releasing it backwards.
by skitto December 19, 2008

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A band great for someone who has never listened to Radiohead, U2 or Oasis. You basically have to have very bland and generic music tastes to enjoy them. Being a Coldplay fan is like the music equivalent of enjoying Twilight.
This douche "Coldplay is so awesome!"
Me "Well they're okay, but they are nothing special."
This douche "Shut up! I bet you listen to Fall out Boy or Panic! at the Disco! Loud music without depth or soul!"
Me "Um, know, not liking one band does not entail that I like these bands at all. Just let me listen to whatever I like to listen to."
This douche "Idiot!"
Me "Just leave me alone."
by ThatOneGuyYouGrewToHate July 23, 2012

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Foreplay performed on a sex partner who is not in the mood, not feeling well, still sleeping, or otherwise non-responsive to romantic overtures.
"Oh, hon. I love making love with you, but no matter how much coldplay you perform, I'm just exhausted and want to sleep some more, OK?"
by Chad5500 May 23, 2014

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A paltalk term for a man who is able to walk, wank and talk at the same time
Look that man is doing a COLDPLAY

Last night I did so much coldplay
by 4playangel July 25, 2011

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The act of sexually fiddling with a corpse in a mortuary. Not limited to any particular gender. Or species.
Rob was into coldplay, and was caught finger-banging Gwyneth Paltrow's corpse as she lay on the slab.
by COCK PVNCH May 26, 2014

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