a band to listen to in the bathtub while your crying and masturbating using your tears as lubricant
She broke up up with me so i listened to coldplay
by bitchplease1111 November 11, 2011
A terribly overrated and mediocre band. Basically they sound like Radiohead if they had gotten stuck on "The Bends" and never evolved their sound. Highly accessible and digestible, usually adored by people who think Radiohead is "too weird" or girls who think they like "deep" music. Lead vocalist Chris Martin is a pretentious d-bag whose lyrics consist of nothing but stale cliches passed off as life-changing revelations.
Coldplay can be identified by their trite, universal lyrics like: "Every step that you take / could be your biggest mistake / It could bend or it could break / But that's the risk that you take"
by knives_out May 11, 2008
Generic rock band who sounds like all of the 1000 "alternative" bands you hear on the FM radio.
Oh god Coldplay is on, let me change the channel.

or

"You know who I know you're gay?"

"How?"

"You like Coldplay"
by turn that shit off April 24, 2007
fucking shit band, makes you want to kill yourself when you hear any of their songs
coldplay chris martin
by spacy August 20, 2008
Possibly the most overrated band in the history of modern popular music, next to the beatles. Their music is nice to listen to, but not very musically dynamic and gets tiresome quickly. All their songs are "engineered" to sound perfect and evoke some kind of emotional response. These guys wouldn't know improvisation if it hit them in the face. And they play short concerts now that they're superstars. A fad that will surely fade soon.
"Hey man I'm so glad we're all back together, listening to coldplay, senior year is gonna be great! These are good days we're living bro. Man this song makes me think." *looks up at sky*
by mondoshiwan October 13, 2006
Possibly the lamest band in existence. Their entire catalogue is nearly a carbon copy of a short phase Radiohead went through before moving onto other things like people with actual artistic talent tend to do. Coldplay's lyrics are horridly generic, and their lead singer (Chris Martin) likes to wallow in his own sadness and deliver all his lines as if he's about to start crying at any second like a giant doucher.

Coldplay fans often claim to like the band on the grounds that their lyrics are really provocative and profound. It is best to avoid all interaction with these people, as their semi-retardation has been proven to be contagious. They can be identified by the shit stains around their eyes, nose, and mouth due to them habitually burying their heads in their own, and each other's, anuses
Coldplay fan: Dude WTF!? I passed off these Coldplay lyrics as my own work for this poetry assignment in English, didn't get caught, and STILL got a D!! Plus now the short bus shows up at my house every day before school to pick me up! FML!
Person with any musical knowledge whatsoever: Just stay at least 10 feet away from me dude.

12-year-old girl: Hey Chris Martin, thanks for coming over to have sex with me.
Chris Martin: Are you kidding? I like men. I just need your diary to write 12 new songs for the next Coldplay album.
by GrandmaTakeMeHome May 09, 2011
Noise that people call music and every song sounds the same.

Just a way for people to be cool
The sound of styrofoam rubbing together is Coldplay.

or

Eww, you like Coldplay? You must hate life!
by Micheal Ricard III February 19, 2009
The band that produces thirty second songs on repeat for four and a half minutes.
Dude 1: Dude is your ipod on repeat?

Dude 2: No its just coldplay
by alexac720 September 11, 2012

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