Come here, and say something stupid, we'll make fun of you for a week.
We hate having customers, yet they like coming here.
They ask us stupid questions. We give them stupid answers.
We don't care your ice cream is melting, so please don't tell us.
We could really careless if you like what you're eating, we just want to go home.
We don't sell half of the things you ask us for, and most of us are sick of hearing you idiots ask us about it.
Our boss is a jew bastard, who's not even jewish.
But is one of the most jewish people we've ever met.
Our manager is a child molster and pedo.
Tell him your cold, he'll turn the air lower.
Our assistant manager is also a pedo and around the clock pot head.
Everyone else who works here might as well have an IQ of 5.
Except for a select few.
Overall we hate our job, but we do it anyway cause we need the money.
And if you come in, we'll give you a fake smile here and there, but don't expect it all the time.
Welcome to Coldstone, you douche bag.
Us: "Because it's ice cream."
Customer: "Do you sell coffee?"
Us: "What do you think?"
Customer: "Why are you called Coldstone Creamery?"
Us: "I don't know, I've been trying to figure out that since I've got a job here."
we literally just sit when there is absolutely nothing to do
we have very deep and meaningful conversations
have gummy bear and m&m fights when your boss/manager isnt working
make fun of the ridiculous customers we just helped, you think you did nothing wrong? haha guess again you idiot!
feel free to give us a tip but dont expect a song, we arent trained monkeys that bow to yuor every whim.
dont complain because you really cant, you ordered the damn thing. unless you know theres a hair in it...
dont complain about prices because once again, you ordered it.
i know we have funny names for our ice cream creations but come on guys, some of them are just your inability to read.
if we ask you a question like what size, dont say 2 scoops because you look like a dumbass, our sizes are right in front of your face.
we really just want you order your damn ice cream and leave so hurry up deciding. like seriously you dont even know what your in the mood for?
the latest you should come in to get ice cream is about a half hour before we close. unless you want to get dirty looks the whole time and an overpriced order! just kidding i only did that once
other than those few things, enjoy your ice cream
Mom: No, let's go get 1/4 of the ice cream for 1/4 of the amount at Cold Stone Creamery!
Six year old: Yay!