A sciency-sounding word for SECKSSS. Sheldon Cooper from the show The Big Bang Theory often replaces the word "sex" with "coitus".
Penny, did you engage in coitus with Leonard last night?
I had coitus with Amy Farrah Fowler last weekend... BAZINGA!!!!
physical union of male and female genitalia accompanied by rhythmic movements usually leading to the ejaculation of semen from the penis into the female reproductive tract
Kris Ann's sister was shocked when I informed her that we were preparing to engage in coitus.
The way a child with a speech impediment pronounces "Curtis." Hilarious when heard aloud.
Little Joey at 7 years old: Coitus, stop eating paste.
Little Curtis at 7 years old: Stop calling me that, fuckhead. Don't you know what that means yet?! And this paste is delicious, so hop off my nuts
The absolute least sexy thing to shout out in bed.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!"
2. Formal terminology often used by the 'super intelligent' to describe the love-making process, every little boy's dream
Hey baby, let's go for scones then we can catch a round of coitus.
What Sheldon Cooper says instead of sex
Sheldon: Should you engage in coitus ...
A sexual act between male and female in which the penis is inserted into the vagina, or as Stewie Griffin would say:
"Inert your pen-is ('pen' as in for writing, fallowed by 'is') into her vag-in-a (like 'Badge' with a 'V' fallowed by the two words 'in' and 'a')"
Quagmire was playing a sex game with an asian woman in his country house, and he was dressed as a geisha, then he took of his robe and positioned himself over her, and saw the griffin family had walked into the room. He then said:
"Oh.....is this the weekend you guys were coming up?.......Well here I am, cream on my face, hair a mess, and in mid-coitus, I must look a sight!"