Top definition
Someone who masks their hipster attitudes by dressing normally. A closet hipster doesn't physically stand out, but deep down inside, they are glaring at you for your terrible music tastes and consumerist lifestyle.
Lawrence is a closet hipster. He stands out in all the wrong ways at indie concerts and hates Coldplay.
by LK88 November 30, 2010
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Cleveland Steamer Plush

The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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2
Someone who is secretly hipster but not hipster enough to show it.
"Woow, are you Closet Hipster or what? -Kristen H.

"Woow, I hope someone finds my secret stash of men's TROUSERS." -Kristen H.
via giphy
by GdragonBEmyhusband September 03, 2016
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Dirty Sanchez Plush

It does not matter how you do it. It's a Fecal Mustache.

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