To masturbate

Same as...

Bash the bishop
Choke the chicken
Yank the plank
Clean the pipes
Grapple the gorilla
Pet the one eyed snake
Stroke the salami
Massage colin
Toss off
Shake hands with the milkman
Greet the old chap
tommy tank
Spank Off
Spank the Monkey
Buffing the Banana
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Rounding up the Tadpoles
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Spank the Frank
Applying the hand brake
Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Auditioning the finger puppets
Beef-stroke-it-off
Boxing the bald champ
Charming the snake
Checking for testicular cancer
Choking Kojak
Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
Straddle your paddle
Taking matters into your own hands
Teasing the weasel
Thumping the pump
Tickling the pickle
etc etc