mmmmmm delicious cancer sticks that have kept many people from dying
man im gonna kill someone if i dont get a smoke soon
1. A magic wand used to conjure buses. You can stand there for an hour waiting for your bus to come, but as soon as you light up a fag, it will come round the corner, forcing you to put it out.
2. Something that non-smokers frequently manage to die of cancer without ever using.
3. Something for self-righteous but somewhat timid morons to declaim and campaign against without having to feel like they're going out on a limb.
4. A drug that makes you violent and cuts your IQ in half, damages your liver, frequently causes death on the roads and in homes, destroys careers, lives and families, and costs our country millions every year in lost productivity from people who are too sick to come in to work after using too much of it the night before. Oh no wait, that's beer.
Let's see, what shall I spend my time campaigning against? Racism? No... how about religious fundamentalism? Maybe pollution or censorship... Ah, no, I've got it! Cigarettes!
Tobacco, rolled in a paper. Then smoked. Most of the time contains a filter. Cigarettes kill you. I love them. I love the way they smell, I love the way they taste, I love the way they feel. They will kill me and I am fine with that. If you don't love them, don't smoke and shut the fuck up.
"Cigarettes are bad for you."
"If people like you didn't exsist I wouldn't have to smoke."
Part of the official Breakfast of Champions™
The other part is coffee
The most blessed item on earth (other than beer and sex). People who smoke pay more taxes therefore we are patriotic. Cigarettes are usually found with a filter. People who don't smoke should invest in a filter, bitches. God knows, I would never smoke without one. In today's modern society, smokers are a rare breed of people who could give two shits about health, yellow skin, and stinky clothes because we realize that cough medicine is good, it'll help you get better. Soap will make your skin a normal color, and for God's sake, if your clothes stink, then wash them. And ater all, your gonna die someday, and who the hell wants to be old with wrinkly balls and a penis that no longer works? I will most likley never quit smoking because...
A) It is my civic duty to put into our government system.
2) I'm not a big fan of old people, don't wanna become one.
C) It pisses people off something fierce.
Next) Beer does not reach it's maximum potential in taste without the wonderful taste of a Camel Light.
5) I want to die of something of my choosing, when I get lung caner, the doctors will put me on so much pain medication that I will not notice that the copious amounts of blood that I am coughing out have put my cigarette out.
F) Shit, the movie stars do it.
Times To Smoke:
-After waking up
-Before going to sleep
-While playing poker
-While on smoke break
The amount of distance it takes to walk while smoking one cigarette.
Fuck going into town, that's two cigarettes away and I only have one cigarette left.
designed by insightful people, who realized that the last 7 yrs. of life are not worth living anyway. Those are the 7 yrs. you cant make coherent sentences, and you shit yourself constantly.
"Grandpa you shit yourself again, here is a pack of camels!!!!!
A guilty pleasure, to say the least.
Cigarettes every now and then are guilty pleasures.