Many smokers claim "this is my last pack, I'm quitting tomorrow" when in reality, they dont have the willpower and probibly will never quit.
If the smoker goes without one for a few days, they turn into a violent, nasty, spiteful, depressive moaning cunt until they get their daily fix, how very attractive for the oposite sex.
One of the biggest money-grabbing schemes the Government has come up with, by taxing cigarettes so much, not only do they take your hard earned cash, it also fuels their corrupt regimes and funds "the war on terror".
Smokers convince themselves they're in the right, and somehow higher and mightier than non-smokers, because they "dont give a shit" despite their massive money defeceit, smelly clothes, bad breath and ill health. Well, just keep convincing yourselves guys.
Modern cigarettes are packed with chemicals to make the tobacco burn quicker and more addictive so the user will spark up another one straight after, since after 3 drags or so its gone. Now tell me, would you settle for watered-down, low alchoholic beer? I didnt think so either.
The fortunate few who see the error of their ways and quit wondered why they bothered at all, as the negatives easily outweigh the positives. Good for you, you've seen the light.
2. Something that non-smokers frequently manage to die of cancer without ever using.
3. Something for self-righteous but somewhat timid morons to declaim and campaign against without having to feel like they're going out on a limb.
4. A drug that makes you violent and cuts your IQ in half, damages your liver, frequently causes death on the roads and in homes, destroys careers, lives and families, and costs our country millions every year in lost productivity from people who are too sick to come in to work after using too much of it the night before. Oh no wait, that's beer.
"If people like you didn't exsist I wouldn't have to smoke."
A) It is my civic duty to put into our government system.
2) I'm not a big fan of old people, don't wanna become one.
C) It pisses people off something fierce.
Next) Beer does not reach it's maximum potential in taste without the wonderful taste of a Camel Light.
5) I want to die of something of my choosing, when I get lung caner, the doctors will put me on so much pain medication that I will not notice that the copious amounts of blood that I am coughing out have put my cigarette out.
F) Shit, the movie stars do it.
Times To Smoke:
-After waking up
-Before going to sleep
-While playing poker
-While on smoke break
-While deep in thought
-When around others who smoke
-When writing this definition
-When around people who DON'T smoke
-When doing laundry (i.e. stinky clothes)
-Upon buying a new pack
-When introducing yourself
-When you are living life to it's fullest
-When living fast and dying young
-When drinking coffee
-While watching a movie
These are just a few good reasons and times to smoke. If you do not like smoking, do not smoke. If you do not like cigarette smoke, get a filter. If you don't like smokers, don't date them. And for fuck's sake, DON'T i repeat, DON'T tell a smoker that smoking is bad, we already know and furthermore...we don't care.
Me: "OH MY FUCKING GOD, THANK FUCKING CHRIST, YOU SAVED ME, I HAD NO IDEA THAT IT WAS BAD FOR MY HEALTH, I'm so glad that a person such as yourself has come into my life and saved me from the dangers of cigarettes. You are truley a blessed person."
Johnny Non-Smoker: "Well, man, I thought it was just the right thing to do."
Me: "Oh wait, I forgot, I could give two shits, I hope you die of second hand smoke. Where the fuck is my lighter?"