One of the world's most annoying person, behind Spongebob, Trolls, and Joe Jonas.

He's an overused meme since people did some shit this one day and now it's all about "OMGZ! HE KILLED A GUY WITH JUST A GLIMPSE!"

People say if you insult him, you die, I'm obviously still alive suckers!

See: People who obviously haven't watched Phineas and Ferb, they can kick Chuck Norris' ass in 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001/2 nanoseconds
Douchebag: OMGZ! CHUCK NORRIS IS THE REASON WE'RE IN A RECESSION, HE GOTZ ALL THE MONEY!

Me: Screw You, he's a myth, oh look, still alive

Douchebag: *looks up in the sky* I THOUGHT YOU WERE REAAAAAAL!
by therocker6 June 23, 2010
when you get mac and cheese(option of easy mac) and mix it with poop and blend it in a blender and feed it to your dogs then when the dogs poop it out you then get the poop and insert it into a womans vagina
i just totally chuck norrised you sister!!
by vendetta696 August 06, 2010
The manliest man on Earth:
Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

"One time I was with Norris in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Norris goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Chuck Norris! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'ChuckNorris' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"

People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Chuck Norris successfully seperated twins conjoined at the head by roundkicking them in the face.

Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.

People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.

Chuck Norris eats lightning and farts thunder.

Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

Chuck Norris was once a knight in King Arthur's court. He was known as Sir Beatdown.

Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated. Chuck Norris once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated.

In Desert Storm the reason why the Iraqi army surrendered so quickly because they knew Chuck Norris was coming.

Chuck Norris has never looked a baby in the eyes cause it might him cry but if he does it also makes him want to punch a baby.

Chuck norris doesnt go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Norris

Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.

Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Chuck Norris". But Chuck Norris was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices.

Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete.

The wind of Chuck Norris’s round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away

Chuck Norris has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time.

There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox.

There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.

Earth's emergency defence plan in case of alien invasion is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down

Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.

On the SAT if you put Chuck Norris for every answer you will score over 8000

The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris spits out watermelon seeds, he puts a machine gun to shame

Chuck Norris doesnt use after shave, he uses liquid hot magma.

When Chuck norris found this web-site while surfing the internt, he round house kicked his computer...10 new facts were added instantly.including this one

You can lead a horse to water but cannot make him drink, unless you’re Chuck Norris

No matter what your mother always said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.

Chuck Norris is '' The best a man can get ''

On Valentine's Day, Chuck Norris gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Chuck Norris believes every day should be Valentine's Day.

Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

Chuck Norris visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".

Chuck Norris eats eight meals a day. Seven are steak, and the last is the rest of the cow.

Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!

Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.

Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.

Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.

The world's fastest car has 7 gears. 5, 6, and Chuck Norris.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.

The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard.

When Chuck Norris goes to Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.

In an emergency, Chuck Norris can be used as a floatation device.

When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.

The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.

Chuck Norris once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents.

Chuck Norris can hold his breathe for nine years.

When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg.

Chuck Norris invented the question mark.

Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child.

Chuck Norris has 3 knees on each leg.

Chuck Norris likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows, and quiet time with his lady…just before he roundhouse kicks her in the face.

Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

If you gave Chuck Norris a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete Works of Shakespeare

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.

The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.

Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.

Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.

Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!

Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.

When Chuck Norris sneeze, he don't say "Atchoo" he says "DIE EVERYONE!!!". That's what happens next.

Chuck Norris eats a bowl of diamonds every morning.

Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb

Bully is to nerd as Chuck Norris is to Ryan Seacrest
by E.J.S. February 19, 2006
When a women refuses to have sex with you, you round-house kick the bitch upside the head. You then proceed to have sex with her unconscious body.
Dude i put Bonnie in the hospital by giving her the chuck norris. I made up for it by buying her the whole first season of Walker Texas Ranger.
by schlogden February 18, 2008
After having sex with your girlfriend, roundhouse kick her in the face and get out.
My bitch used teeth, so i gave her a good ol' Chuck Norris
by guy15 October 26, 2010
A sexual act during doggystle in which the man or strap-on lesbo steps over and around the receiver's head with the leading leg, followed by a back roundhouse kick to the head with the hind leg, all in one smooth badass motion.
Dude, this bitch ended up bein the freak of the century, so after I came in her ass I gave her the ol' chuck norris for good measure.
by Skeeter McGantry August 23, 2006
An actor who was around before all these dumb little kids knew who he was, and is now being used in fake, not funny at all, facts.
I am a thirteen year old loser who thinks it is funny to say Chuck Norris in every sentence I say.
by AnonymousInUS February 28, 2006

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