Chuck Norris invented Judisim. When Jesus turned water into wine, Chuck Norris thought it tasted shitty so he roundhouse kicked Jesus and he died. Ever since then, the Jews are afraid to believe in Jesus.
by The GSpotter August 10, 2006
1.learned everything he knows from Bruce Lee
2.The last guy who got his ass whipped by Bruce Lee in Return of the Dragon.
Bruce Lee could kick Chuck Norris's ass with both hands tied behind his back.
by ................................ January 06, 2006
the personification of all that is fake and cheesy in Hollywood. He is the epitome of how Hollywood takes beautiful and/or honorable traditions from other cultures and turns them into packaged crap.
Dances with Wolves totally Chuck Norrised the Native Americans
by Geppetto Whipple August 19, 2005
Aside from being a faddish 2000's pop culture exemplar of all things tough, monosyllabic, and righteously violent, Chuck Norris holds black belts in Tang Soo Do, Tae Kwon Do, Karate, and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. His rise to Hollywood fame occurred when he starred as the villain opposite Bruce Lee in "Return of the Dragon." He played leads in a number of martial arts movies through the 80's, then was picked up for "Walker, Texas Ranger" in 1993, which aired for eight years on CBS. As of 2006, he continues to take on roles for various karate flicks, capitalizing intensely on his recent faddish popularity.
The Chuck Norris jokes will end when Chuck Norris is ready for them to end.
by Alfred F. September 11, 2006
The history of chuck: Serving time as a silly clown with a severe case of perma-bone, he decided to end his life of crime and change him name to
"Hey Carlos"
"Please Just call me Chuck or I'll smash the area that resides left to your groin"
"I'll buy 50 ultimate gyms"
by Return of the Faggon August 08, 2003
A tough guy with a stupid moustache.
"Dude, Johnny's a total Chuck Norris!"
by Darren March 08, 2005
One of the worst actors of all time. He thinks he's the greatest man to walk the earth since Jesus. He often tries to attempt martial arts, but most of the time he cannot accompish much of anything because he's wearing tight jeans, a flanel shirt, and a very large cowboy hat. He starred in the Tv series Walker: Texas Ranger, where he can be found in the same attire as stated above. In this series, which has gone down as one of the worst TV series ever, and is only loved by gopher eating hicks and gold prospectors, Chuck Norris fights "bad guys" by methods including: kicking, punching, slapping, and occasionally shooting with varius projectile weapons. So basically the show comes off as a weak attempt to be MacGyver, only with less resourceful inventions, and a little bit less mullet. Other than TV Chuck Norris has starred in horrible movies and made for TV movies (The Walker: Texas Ranger Movie). In these movies he does pretty much the same actions as he does in Walker: Texas Ranger, however the outfits may vary occasionally (may I emphasize the occasionally). So in all, Chuck Norris is one of the biggest failures America has ever seen. I will conclude with the tagline from his movie "Sidekicks": "A dreamer and a champion. An unbeatable team, until his hero stepped out of his fantasies to fight by his side." Sexual fantasies? Yes, I think so. Gross. Thank you.
Bad Guy: "What do you want Walker?"
Walker: "Fifty years of your life"
*Bad guy slowly pulls out gun, Walker quickly pulls out gun and shoots him*

Asian Man: "I like your Ranger Walker."
by Ralph Wiggum March 16, 2005

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from We'll never spam you.