The most powerful man in the world save one, the person who defeated him in mortal combat upon the slopes of mount olympus. The Incarnate of Zues, king of the gods, known only as Souther, managed to dodge one of Chuck Norris'
roundhouse kicks, and punched him in the face, defeating him. However even though it was mortal combat, Chuck Norris still lives, and Souther was so impressed with his god-fighting abilities that he retired from fighting, and became a latin teacher.
(There is also some speculation that this "Souther" was Chuck Norris in disguise and moved so fast that it apeared to observers that there were two people.)
Student: "my teacher fought Chuck Norris and won"
Uninformed Student: "No, nobody can beat Chuck Norris"
Student: "no, for real, they trained at the same dojo, and my teacher beat him in a spar"
Uninformed Student: "no way! He'd have to be like Zeus or something"
*Uninformed Student explodes because he is simultaniously hit by a lightening bolt and Chuck Norris, who greatly respects the only man to ever defeat him*
by KadanJoelavich October 24, 2006
When Chuck Norris is not home, when his wife masturbates she uses a jackhammer to simulate his penis.
When Chuck Norris is not home, when his wife masturbates she uses a jackhammer to simulate his penis.
by Carlospiceywiener March 07, 2011
The only man in history to have lost his virginity before his dad.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
by Laminoth July 10, 2009
COOLER THAN YOU!!
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.


Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.


Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost



Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.



Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.


When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.


When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.


Chuck Norris invented the apple.


Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.



P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
chuck norris

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by flabbergasted!! March 15, 2009
The greatest kickboxer the world has every known.

Chuck Norris is not a force of nature; nature is a force of Chuck Norris.

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a light bulb?
There can be only 1 Chuck Norris, and then he will
roundhouse kick you in the face, smartass.
Hail to Chuck Norris or be dispatched.
by QuantumZ September 27, 2006
A man who strikes fear into the people who strike fear themselves.
When the boogie man goes to sleep... he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris
by RichardV March 08, 2006
An expert in the martial arts, a true scholar, and a gentleman. He will one day be the American army... maybe Vin Diesel will be a teammate, but mostly just Chuck.

He doesnt read books, he just stares at them until he gets information.
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy in the face... the sheriff was the luckier of the two.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.
Chuck Norris’ sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.
N. Chuck Norris is God.
V. Did you see the way Mark just Chuck Norrised his girlfriend in the vagina?
by Robthedudeofnyandthatsall March 07, 2006
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