A Man Concieved By Two Gods who is invincible to all things mortal and who has sex with more woman that earth can Produce
CHuck norris is God and cannot be defeated
by DirtyHarry February 26, 2007
a.k.a. God; The master of everything.
When Chuck Norris gives blood he refuses a syringe and asks for a gun and a bucket.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.
by Jesus Christo March 19, 2006
The only man in the world who has a planet named after his left testicle.
Wolverine once got into a fight with Chuck Norris, and sliced off his left testicle. It somehow was thrown into outer space, and to this day, it is known by its scientific name: Jupiter.
by Gai-sensei March 17, 2006
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afriad of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

It is said that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. The only problem is that Chuck Norris never cries.
Chuck Norris will knock you out son!
by Dude with no name March 09, 2006
A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could supply the world with energy for the next 2.53 billion years. However, due to the level of danger involved in trying to harness this immense source of energy, scientists have resorted to a safer avenue of research; trying to control the kaboom from thermonuclear weapons. It is also suggested a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick may hold the key to incredible new breakthroughs in propulsion technology.
The Mars Lander did not actually crash on Mars because of a programming mistake... The transporter carrying the lander to the launch site cut Chuck Norris off and he roundhouse kicked the lander *into* Mars. NASA officials are attempting to understand this new form of propulsion. So far there have been no survivors from this dangerous research. NASA is accepting applications at this time.
by Launchpad McQuack April 23, 2006
The name of the toughest guy in Hollywood. Many references to Chuck Norris's toughness have been made. Some examples follow.

1) If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris will kill you.

2) Someone actually asked for Chuck Norris's autograph. He now has a permanent footprint carved into his forehead.
3) Chuck Norris doesn't bathe...Water asks permission to make contact with Chuck Norris's skin.

4) Chuck Norris doesn't grocery shop. Food comes to Chuck Norris in fear of Chuck Norris looking for food.

5) A man once said that Chuck Norris isn't that tough. Pieces of this man are still orbiting the Earth.

6) What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper soaked in the blood of the reporter who wrote a negative review about one of Chuck Norris's movies.

7) Three blind mice gave Chuck Norris a dirty look.....once.

8) Chuck Norris doesn't fight. Nobody's that stupid.

9) The four horsemen of the Apocalypse were hired after Chuck Norris quit

10) Chuck Norris was slated to star in "The Matrix" until the writers realized that the movie would then have only been a second or two long.

11) Chuck Norris doesn't give you the finger. He breaks all of yours.

12) If it looks like Chuck Norris might be late for something; time slows itself down.

13) Chuck Norris once got caught in the rain. This region of Earth is now known as the Sahara Desert. Rain will never fuck with Chuck Norris again.

14) A man once asked Chuck Norris to define his feminine qualities. This man has become the deepest human ever buried.

15) One day while Chuck Norris was salmon fishing with his bare hands he saw a huge Kodiak bear. The bear played dead.
by thedude1963 April 20, 2013
The shit, every shit, everything around the shit, everything on the shit, the shoes that have stepped in the shit, the shit on the shoes, the smell of the shit, the flies that eat the shit, basically....the shit.
Chuck norris doesnt need an example
by beeb the destroyer January 31, 2011

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