1. n. The holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Falling conveniently on the 25th of December, supposedly declared by the Catholic Church to eclipse a Pagan holiday (winter solstice) on the same day.
2. n. A heart touching season where gift giving is promoted, and Santa Claus is every youth's hero. Other Christmas icons include: reindeer, snowmen, elves, presents, pine trees, ornaments, tinsel, holy, yule logs, sleighs, mistletoe, carols, noel, angels, golden rings, calling birds, french hens, turtledoves, birds in fruit-bearing trees.
3. v. To celebrate Christmas
1. Character 1: "Hey, wanna come over to my house on Christmas and read the bible and celebrate the birth of our savior?"
Character 2: "Nah, I'm planning on celebrating the Pagan holiday for the Winter Solstice, which coincidentally falls on your holiday, and involves many of the same practices"
Character 1: "Screw you."
2. Character 1: "I can't wait til Christmas Time, when I can spend my hard-earned cash on presents that will probably be given away, only to get crappy woven sweaters in return!"
Character 2: "Don't be bitter, just give them your car keys and report it stolen the next day."
3. Character 1: "So what are you planning to do over the holidays?"
Character 2: "Oh, I'm going to be Christmassing with my peeps in G-Town, how bout you?"
Character 1: "Oh, what a relief, I thought you were Jewish."
A christian festival held on the 25th of december that most non christians use as an excuse to get presents.
presents around the christmas tree...
1. The 25th day of December.
2. In America, the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday.
That way, Christians can go to their Christmas services, while everyone else can reflect on the true meaning of separation of church and state.
(n.) A magical time of year where Jesus Christ rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living, so we all sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.
Johnny celebrates Christmas with his family by singing Christmas carols to ward off Zombie Jesus.
syn. to Yule/Yuletide, originally a pagan holiday incorporated into the Christian religion to ease the shock of converting the pagans. jesus was born around april 19th.
In order to convert the germanic huns, jesus was portrayed as a warrior, in order to convert the romans, he was displayed as a kind but fierce saint. in both instances holidays were absorbed into the christian religion so that the new converts would not have to rememorize holidays and festivals.
1. Annual commercial carnival which celebrates the birth of the Shopping Centre, usually lasting about 4 fucking months and starting earlier every year, Christmas 2005 is expected to start in August.
2. Festive period when everybody seems to go absolutely crazy, small children lose the ability to keeps their mouths shut and normally quiet individuals turn into shopping obsessed morons.
3. Time of the year in which we are supposed to rejoice in the goodness of life and forgive our fellows for their transgressions.
1. Girl - "It'll be Christmas again soon you know."
Guy - "Fuck off will you its only fucking August!"
2. Kid - "Daddy, daddy, daddy please buy me this for Christmas!"
Father - "Gibber, Gibber, dribble dribble "
3. Annoyingly happy bastard - "Merry Christmas!"
Normal person - "Piss off, fucktard!"
The date of December 25th probably originated with the ancient "birthday" of the son-god, Mithra, a pagan deity whose religious influence became widespread in the Roman Empire during the first few centuries A.D. Mithra was related to the Semitic sun-god, Shamash, and his worship spread throughout Asia to Europe where he was called Deus Sol Invictus Mithras. Rome was well-known for absorbing the pagan religions and rituals of its widespread empire. As such, Rome converted this pagan legacy to a celebration of the god, Saturn, and the rebirth of the sun god during the winter solstice period. The winter holiday became known as Saturnalia and began the week prior to December 25th. The festival was characterized by gift-giving, feasting, singing and downright debauchery, as the priests of Saturn carried wreaths of evergreen boughs in procession throughout the Roman temples.
Jesus was not born on December 25th. He was 33 1/2 when he died on Nisan 14 which is in April. Do the math.