|36.||Middle Child Disease|
attention-seeker, annoying, wanting way too many friends
-their parents control their life
-they feel neglected or unwanted
-at first people like these kids, but then they figure out their true colors
(This situation isn't for all middle kids.)
Person 1: OMG I HATE THAT GIRL! I CAN'T STAND HER!
Person 2: Sweetie, don't blame her! She has Middle Child Disease.
Person 1: Poor girl.
A child who is restrained on a leash usually being dragged by an un-attentive parent. These children can usually be seen at wal-mart, disneyland, grocery stores, or any other generally large area.
The said leash can come in many different styles ranging from the standard which makes it look like a dog harness wrapped around a child to the newer style where the leash is attached to some ugly little backpack so the parent doesn't feel as bad when people stare and can pretend like their child is wearing it because they like it.
Seeing these children usually make you think of a dog on a leash when the child strays too far the parent will either just keep strolling along dragging the poor child behind or give the leash a good tug there-by forcing said child back at their side.
Shelby: did you just see that leash child?
Melissa: Yeah, poor thing.
Shelby: lets cut the leash and free him!
Ashley: I saw a leash child today at wal-mart
Danny: Was the mom dragging it down the isles?
Ashley: Ya she didn't even notice until he got stuck on a display case
Any sibling that looks different from the rest of the family. If you have blue eyes and the rest of your family has brown you may be a FedEx child.
Alex looks nothing like her sister, she must be a FedEx child.
An immature infant trapped inside the body of a grown woman.
This strange phenomenon generally occurs following the trauma of parentally-associated abandonment, neglect, or abuse during the fundamental "Attachment Period" of Infancy (0-3), and literally stops thier emotional development to the time of the first trauma sustained, and to no more than thier 3 year-old self. Officially, this is known as "Arrested Development". In modern psychology, a Woman-Child's childish alter-ego is also known as "the lost self", and is effectively, her true identity. "The false-self" on the other hand, is the well-perfected public persona, and false alter-ego she subconsciously developed as a way of coping with her initial infantile trauma - it's only those who develop close relationships with a Woman-Child, who manage to see just how immature and emotionally fragile she really is underneath this public persona. Arrested Development, and the Trauma (usually Abandonment) that caused this arrest, also culminate to create most of the emotional, psychological, and behavioural symptoms of a condition known as "Borderline Personality Disorder" (BPD).
Woman-Children are most easily recognised by thier fragile emotions, talking and behaving like little girls, falling in love with you far too quickly, missing you after very short periods of time (lack of "object constancy"), excessive crying, strong efforts to avoid abandonment in relationships, unpredictable actions, promiscuity, and the inability to have any form of serious or mature conversation when required.
"Her daddy left her as a baby - now she's stuck as a Woman-Child for life!"
"Dude, what's up with your girlfriend? She cries more than my little sister!"..."Don't worry about her dude - she's just a Woman-Child!"
An annoying feature in many of today's cars and SUVs that makes it seem like the driver is trying to trap you in their car. However, it is just as effective at keeping young children safe as it is protecting crazy people of all ages. The child lock can be renamed for the person it is protecting.
"Wtf the child lock is on! Let me out of the car!"
"Oh sorry I forgot about the Alice Lock. I turned it on to keep that crazy Asian inside the car."
|41.||I like trains|
A quotation used by a small british child to summon a large train, which crushes him and others in the process.
Random person: Die potato!
Kid: I like trains
Random person: oh wait NO NO NO!
(train goes by and kills random person and potato)
the Only Child is a clever species which mimics the Regular Human. Indistinguishable by simply looking at them, you must get to know an Only Child to know that they are, in fact, an Only Child. As a species they tend to appreciate being alone more so than the Regular Human, and more often like quiet thinking time and don't mind hanging out by themselves. At a young age, all Only Children tend to go through an elongated "brattiness" phase, which tends to be more extreme than that of a Regular Human child. Depending on the parents, the Only Child may eventually grow out of this phase, and surrounded by Regular Human friends, can blend in perfectly. The Only Child has been observed to experience loneliness quite often, and usually feels that this loneliness can be filled best by a relationship, and extreme cases the longing for a relationship can be more important than maintaining the type of friendship observed in the species "Regular Human". However, it is indeed common for an Only Child to fall harder and faster when it comes to relationships, and tend to experience emotions more intensely. If an Only Child has trouble finding an acceptable relationship, they may become uncomfortably hormonal. For example, it is possible that a female only child could even have as many hormones as a 17-year-old male. Which is a fuckton load. Only Children also love Pokemon, especially Wooper.
1. Bro 1: If I ever have kids, I'm def gonna have more than one. I don't want to have to raise a bratty, over-hormonal only child.
2. She must have gotten through her annoying only child phase, because we've been friends for years and I just assumed she had siblings.
3. Duder 1: Man, that bitch is such an only child. When I asked her to fuck she got all emotional and now she's telling people we're dating. WTAF.