Since ancient times the chest hair has acted much like a chest antenna, allowing men to communicate with the cosmic force known as the man force. The more chest hairs a man has, the more at one he is with the man force. With every chest hair a man has increased chickdar (radar for lesbians, chick fights, and all threesome alumni), increased appreciation for bacon, better beard growing capability, and an exponentially increased love for espn. Chest hair was invented by Chuck Norris in the year 3046 BC.
gordon: hey bro, i am growing a new chest hair
percivel: i am happy for you man, that makes 42 right?
gordon: 42 and counting. by the way, i am sorry to hear about your last chest hair
percivel: ahhh, dont beat yourself up about it, im sure you didnt mean to shoot that firework at my chest
gordon: bad luck all around... or could be because your parents named you percivel