Skip to main content

Choking Casper 

A means of self pleasure attempted only by the bravest of males. A masturbatory technique by which 2-4 tissues are overlapped to form a soft sheath over the head and shaft of the penis, thus resembling a ghost. The male proceeds to "choke his chicken" using the Kleenex condom as both a barrier between his hand and penile skin as well as a reservoir for the resulting ejaculate. For best results, tissues with aloe should be used in order to reduce friction and risk of bleeding.
Kyle: I stumbled upon the hottest lesbian porn on tv last night.
Paul: Did you blow your load all over the place or did you contain it with the Choking Casper?
Kyle: Let's just say Casper wasn't such a friendly ghost when I was done. I ended up with some serious rug burn.
Choking Casper mug front
Get the Choking Casper mug.
See more merch

Fact Checking 

After luring millions of people onto Facebook with the false promise of free friends and free sex, Mark Zuckerberg suddenly started "fact checking" our free speech until only the views in line with his his rich cronies' plot for world domination were allowed.
Fact Checking by D Flawless May 11, 2020

basket checking 

Looking at a man's crotch through his pants
Annlynne is a total basket checker. She was checking out the goods and basket checking like a champ.
basket checking by PresleyTheTrumpet November 19, 2013

chewing the chotch

To give a woman oral sex, cunnilingus.
Man you smell like fish...I can tell you been chewing the chotch.
chewing the chotch by bamboy September 26, 2007

choking the nun 

Euphemism for male masturbation. Coined (or at least made popular) by Ryan Stiles on Whose Line Is It Anyway.
"Sorry I'm late. I was choking the nun...if you know what I mean."

choking your chicken

Choking your chicken is whacking yo wienie homie!
Dang, Gabe have you ever been caught in the closet choking your chicken. I have and my Mom is taking me to a shrink tomorrow to see if I'm a perv.

choking a squidhead

This one-liner may be used during an alien invasion, especially when you're a badass who is out to kill the beasts from outer space.

It is also possible to get the phrase as a dirty joke, according to the youtube celebrity Jesse Cox from the youtube channel "OMFGcata", who first came up with this sentence during his playthrough of the game "Crysis 2".
You kill an alien with your mere hands. You mention that you are choking a squidhead. You throw his corpse away.