The chav's delicacy is known as Vegrandis Parvulus or Small Child.
Aproaching a chav is thought to be very dangerous, especially of you are under the age of 12 and/or a lone female.
Chavs are also responsible for the crime ratings increase that their country of origin has seen over the last 5 years. Unfortunatly, chavs are seen as the cancer of the United Kingdom and as such, many professionals have been searching for a cure. As of yet, all known cures are still illegal.
The chav is also known to posess many magical powers. A chav can afford to own a car and modify it to the extreme (maxing), whilst still being on the dole. The chavs powers also extend to their ability to 'Get away with murder' in a court of law. Law abiding, tax-paying citzens should stay clear of any legal conflicts when it comes to chavs, as they will undoubtably be found to be at fault. Yes, if you was subject to an unprovoked attack by a group of 20 chavs, and left for dead, you will have been recorded on their knock-off video mobile phones and will be found guilty in a court of law for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and using excessive force to protect yourself.
The chav is however misunderstood. Many people beleive that the chav is illiterate. This is untrue! How else would they know that the paper they have picked up is the 'daily sport'?
The chav also has a very high reproductive system, partially due to the fact that they would 'Shag a trapped rat' and their lack of experience with contraceptives.
The chav is also inexplicably strong as a pack of 20+. On it's own a chav is about as solid as a new-born baby's turd.
The female of the species is known as the Chavette, and commonly wears a white knock-off tracksuit and 9crt Gold plated Clown Pendant.
The male of the species is known as the Chav, and can be seen sporting burberry, tracksuits and cheap 9crt Gold plated Soveriegn Rings. These also double up as a weapon.
The prefered method of transport is a mates clapped out, highly modified, 2-door shit box of a car with an oversized exhaust and clap trap stereo. They are skilled in getting more people into a small car than any other species known to man kind.
Blazin' Squad - Pack of numerous dickheads trying to rap someone elses songs.
Goldie lookin' chain - Group of welsh wannabe rappers.
There are many more. If you wish to see the Chav in it's natural habitat, visit McDonalds on a Saturday Afternoon or take an evening stroll through your local council estate. (Please, do not go 'Chav Watching' alone)
The bext thing about a chav though is just how looking at one can make me laugh - having gone into my local cornerr shop and encountering about enoguh chavs to fill a bus i was on the floor...i cant but help my urge to laugh at these poor..meek little creatures in the struggle of speaking english.
Well, ive truly outdone myself as far as rambling goes, but for a breed this inferior and ...well..dumb, a surprising amount can be said.
'hah hah i stol dis hat from dat grandad over dere - how 'ard am i??'
next day - all chavs in sight show off their new fashionable flat caps, and tht means theres now a load of poor OAPs with nothing but bare, shiny heads.
oh god, its another hundred chavs..
They tend to walk in packs consisting of a few males and one bitch (usually for mating). If given eye contact they will take it as a challenge and defend themselves using a knife (also known as shank). Their diet consists of cheap food and cider/beer which they got from benefits.
Fur colour ranges from dark to light tracksuits with a flat peak, gold collar and gay ass trainers. Mode of transport is normally a shitty little car which they think is 'sick'. They communicate with one another through loud, annoying music and by using words such as 'safe, innit, narrrr mate! and wot ya saying blud?' most of the time this is hard to distinguish.
Highly aggressive-avoid at all cost.
due to this nature the chavs hang around in packs, usually consisting of about 8 males who regularly meet up with their chavettes (the female of the species) in the carparks of train stations. they also dwell in the doorways of mcdonalds trying to start a fight with anyone that comes within a 2 meter radius of them, as long as the person is under 4 feet tall, therefore showing no threat.
they are almost always white, and very skinny, where the chavettes are usually overweight, with large stretchmarks on their stomachs form excessive baby having. a chavette will have one baby every year from the age of 13, with their 'boyfriends' being at least 2 years older.
the chavs love hiphop and rap music, while also being extremly racist towards black people but more so asians, who they think are draining all the taxes that they should be getting, which is obviously not true.
they wear plastic tracksuits, imitation reebok, though some may stretch their benefits to buying a reebok baseball cap. the matching traksuit is usually dark blue with a white stripe, white sports socks pulled up to the ankles with the tracky bottoms tucked into them. wearing cheap trainers that they keep emaculatly white, usually writing reebok on them themselves to impress their other chav mates (reebok is the only brand most of them know, though some may progress to nike). if they cannot afford a reebok baseball cap, it is imitation burberry.
they always have one ear pierced with an oversized stud in that jut looks gay, and lots of fake gold jewellery and sovering rings, and one eyebrow with too much shaved off to look good, as they slipped while holding their razor cos their hands are so greasy.
the chavettes wear exactly the same but a pink tracky with more jewellery and 7 large hoops in their ears and their belly button pierced. they dont wear a cap but have their long greasy hair tied back in a ponytail so tight you can see their dandruff. they also have a large 3 seater second hand pushchair, with 3 different coloured children in, all at different stages in the chav development, with caps already fitted and ears pireced.
the chavs smoke tiny fags that they have found on the floor around bins, because of this they are prone to spitting so never approach them.
they will find a really shitty old car and 'update it' by robbing bits off other shitty old cars and gluing them on with pva. they never drive these cars but just stand by them looking 'cool'.
common chav names: dean, darren, kevin. common chavette names: tracy, stacy,
also know as kevs,kev
darrun: so is stacy. whut slags innit.
dean: they so stoopid getting preeeeegnant innit
darren:yeah. hey tracy wanna do it in maccy d's bogs innit?
dean: hey thats my girl innit.
darren: its ok. you can borrow stacy innit.
dean: ok. innit.