Gah...those chavs really do suck.

You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.

TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)

AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.

WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.

DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.

Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.

CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.

DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.

LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.

male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.

DISLIKES:

Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.

Male: Greebos.

CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.

Chavs are retards who think that they're rebels and also think that their local McDonalds is a 5-star restraunt.

Male chavs wear clothes and jewellry which come from a market, they have a attitude problem and smoke since the age of 11.

Female chavs wear tight trousers and when they sit down they're thongs show, have fake blonde hair as straight as an ironing board or they have the "croydon face-lift", they lost their virginity at the age of 14, they have a attitide problem and they have really really bad teeth.

Chavs also use stupid words such as "safe" or "mint" or "y'wot?" or "quali'ee" or my favourite "innit" what are they trying to say?, it's like trying to communicate with a dog.

you usually find them in your local bus stop or your local town.

They are the scum of the earth...need i say more????

A chav consists of a simple sum:~
hair scraped back, + tight trousers/dangerously short skirt/tracksuit + tight top, (if girl showing alot of clevage) + attitude problem + big gold earings/necklaces and rings (covering every finger so its almost impossible to pick anything up)= female chav

short blond or bleached blond spiky hair + attitude problem + limited voacb consisting of: 'safe', 'innit', 'ya startin?' and 'mint' + one ear pierced with a earing rather than a stud + a few gold rings + socks pulled over their trousers, of their trousers roled up (anything to be noticed) = male chav

British equivalent of white trash, although the Brit variety is predominantly urban (though still of provincial mentality) whereas the American sort are typically rural (especially trailer trash).

Twats,
They enjoy partaking in antisocial behavior,
They enjoy white lightening
They tuck their tracksuits into their socks to save money if they become ankle swingers,
They are more hated than any other social group in the UK

A person who A) Wears tracksuits at all times, fake Burberry caps, gold jewellry (the chunkier and less tasteful the better) rolls their trouser legs up to reveal their ankles/pulls their socks up over their trouser legs; if female has a bottled tan, large hoop earrings, hair tied up rediculously tight so as to actually distort the natural shape of their face.
B)Hangs around on estates, parks, high streets, outside McDonalds or in childrens playgrounds whilst drinking White Lightning cider, gossiping about either East Enders, Coronation Street, I'm a Celebrity..., the ugly swine they got off with the night before or how 4 of them beat the crap out of a lone "Greebo/Grunger"
C) Has a self imposed inabilty to say words of more than two sylables, brought about by purposefully ignoring all attempts by the State to educate them.

A bunch of white kids who think they are hardcore gangsters from the ghettos and listen to "phat beats" such as Blazin' Squad and So Solid Crew, which they think is gangster music, when it is no more than pop music with annoying "raps" and "beats". They are usually popular at school and go around acting "propa hard" beating up and pushing around anyone that's not popular or a chav like them. They also like to call anyone that likes rock music a "goff" "mosha" or "grunga". Avoid these mindless fuckwits at any chance you can.

See wigger