A chav is a common, rude, rough person. they wear naff clothes.
A chav joke would be, "What are the first words a chav baby says to its single parent?" Answer: "What are YOU looking at??" or: "If there are two chavs in a car and no loud music playing, what kind of car is it?" Answer: "A police car."
by jessickuhh September 07, 2008
Burberry wearing, cider sucking, fake gold flaunting, fight picking, subhuman scum.
Those two chavs thought they could pick on us, and we busted open their empty heads.
Have you beaten a chav today?
by DeeDurk August 08, 2008
Someone who constantly wears the same black tracksuit over and over again. They stand in the street intimidating everyone with 3 litres of white lightening and shouting "braaaaaap"
me: errr look at that chav over there, what a tramp. I shouldnt look for too long or they might threaten to pop a cap in my ass
by shoobz July 31, 2008
Scum of the Earth which you will find in poor places.

Chav actually stands for Council House And Violent.
Person 1: Want to go McDonalds.

Person 2: Hmmm ok. Wait we'll probably get shanked by chavs.
by Leonidas12434 July 10, 2008
The disastrous result of bog weed mating with Jordan on a massive scale. They dress in a uniform of tracksuits and assorted pikey jewelrey found in the homes of elderly people and cattle sheds. The typical male chav is loud,weedy and barely coherant. He is also racist, homophobic, and anti-semitic, while simultaeously worshipping Ali G, a jew dressed up as a black man, and other people who live lives different to themselves. This is thecase for most chavs. Female chavs are jaundiced, ill educated, perpetualy inseminated and privy to the Croydon Facelift hairstyle, where the hair is pulled back so tight that their eyes are placed some 3 inches above their scalps, and Ugg boots worn with very short pleated skirts, revealing their flabby doughlike limbs. Female chavs are so devoid of taste that this style will be mantained if the girl in queston weighs 300 pounds and has an unhealthy 5 o'clock shadow surrounding her thighs. Chavs hunt in packs, picking on people superior to them in every way or form, explaining their maurauding pensioner-slapping antics with th words, 'i has a learnin' difficulty blud, innit'. These words will be accompanied by the pungent odour of a homemade stick of 'ganga' which is usually comprised of table salt and the remnants of last nights microwaved chicken tikka masala.
Chavs live in their 'cribs' or Council Rented Iredeemably Basic Shacks. They are usually tastefully decorated with 1970's style brown wallpaper, and as many tv sets as they can afford. A 12 inch 'Plasma' tv is likely to be Johnny Chavs' most treasured possession, surpassed only by his 'maxed out' 1987 Nova in terms of 'mintness'.
The typical chav listens to bland-as-shite RnB and rap, the male Chav looking up to whatever dumbass has got hold of a microphone this month, and the Chavette idolising the perpetual bint-in-mask-like-makeup on the front pages of Bebo.
If you do see a chav, it is considered the kindest thing to end it's pathetic existence as quickly as possible, preferably with the sharp edge of the new Kanye record, or irony's sake.
Chav: Awriiight blud
Chav 2: Innit
Chav: Brap! A succesful happy individual! Shank it, make it feel the agny of our pathetic existence!
Chav 2: Bluuud, that word had 3 syllables, yoo fag.anyways, i cant get done for no assault no ore, me ma would go shits on me.
Chav: Na, yo mums 9 now, she can deal wiv it.
by Greebo Joe March 30, 2008
A chav... is a strange creature that was not born in that way but was mutated at some point during their life into a burbary wearing, fast food scoffing, cigarette smoking monster who has no ambitions or dreams other than acting hard , having sex with any woman no matter how fugly and getting wasted ever Saturday off cheap cider...

Appearance: Usually they are easy to spot, aged around 8-18 (because after that age they get a grip), they usually wear burbary, or cheap imitation tracksuits with their trouser legs tucked into their imitation Nike or Adidas trainers. Usually the chav women have long hair tied in a side ponytail, so much makeup that you'd need a chisel to get it off and 2 times out of 10 they are pregnant. Often they have greasy skin and ridden with acne.

Habitat: Often they inhabit small dwellings on council estates in Britain and are very territorial, often hanging around their neighborhood, intimidating passers by and discussing "fitbirds" in their strange, ever changing language.

If there was a rare case of anybody actually Wanting to find chavs, for catching or hunting, the best place would probably be outside shops, in parks or in a place where people will have to walk through them or around.

The social structure of chavs can be greatly compared that of a Meercat. Often hanging out in groups of about 4-20 sometimes with one on the lookout for pigs. Despite acting hard and agressive making sounds such as "aare yuu startin bellend" or "aaare'll smash uur edd in" they are surprisingly timid creatures and unless they heavily outnumber you for example 20 to 1 they will usually just "scarper" at the first sign of conflict.

The first sign of this epidemic was in Chatham in kent where parents noticed their children becoming deformed, voices changing, skin becoming greasy and sense of fashion slowly degrading. Slowly it crept across the country now the whole of Britain is knee deep in "bellsniffs".
Chav 1: Ere mate i banged a rite fit bird last night

chav 2: Ye m8 but my bellend is like 2x bigga than uurs init
(stupid hand motion)

Chav 1: Screw u ya nobhead u aint even got a belend.
(man walks past them into the shop)

Chav 1: wat u fink u duin bellsniff?

Chav 2: Yea u queermo u gotta a prikin problem?

(man turns around and looks at them)

Chav 1: Scarpa!

(Chavs run off and after 15 minuits stop in a bus shelter)

Chav 1: arrrrr that pussi wo rite shittin imself

Chav 2: Yemate!
by Toobs March 15, 2008
chav stands for council house and violence.

just go to worcestershire, uk theres loads of them.

Person 1: I live in a council house, and I'm violent. What ya gonna do bout that?

Person 2: Call u a Chav!

Person 3: What did u call me??
by joeypane November 05, 2007

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